The End of Centuries of Armenian Existence in Nagorno-Karabakh
In the recent turn of events, centuries of Armenian presence in Nagorno-Karabakh have ceased. All ethnic Armenians have departed from the contested region, embarking on a journey to Armenia in a caravan of cars. The displaced Armenian children will likely develop animosity towards the Azerbaijanis, similar to the hatred I once felt towards the Armenians for their past actions against me. As a victim of the initial Nagorno-Karabakh conflict in the 1990s, when Armenia emerged victorious and forcibly expelled all Azerbaijanis from their lands, I speak out, hoping to become a small but impactful force within this endless cycle of violence.
Prior to the first war, Azerbaijan housed the “Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous oblast” within its borders. This autonomous region, predominantly Armenian, appeared as a distinct enclave of mountainous land. Right in the middle stood the culturally significant citadel of Shusha, populated primarily by Azerbaijanis. This intricate web of alternating ethnicities encircled Shusha, with Azerbaijanis surrounded by Armenians, who were then enclosed by Azerbaijanis and Azerbaijani Kurds, and so on. Such a complex situation became inconvenient for the emerging nationalist ideologies. Armenian and Azerbaijani identities became oppositional and mutually exclusive. Neighbors turned against neighbors, eventually leading to all-out conflict between the two states, unleashing devastating havoc through their respective armies.
It was during this war that my earliest childhood memories formed. I vividly remember walking down a dirt road in my father’s village at dusk, only to witness the sky suddenly illuminated like daylight, with bullets soaring above my head. I recall attending the burial of my 18-year-old uncle and feeling fear in the graveyard, where the eyes of the deceased seemed to gaze at me from their gravestone portraits. He had been drafted into the war and lost his life there. From the adults’ discussions, I gathered that he had stepped on a landmine, which resulted in the loss of his legs. Before his friends could intervene, he shot himself in the temple. These incidents shaped my understanding of the grim consequences of the conflict.
My mother’s family, Azerbaijani Kurds, hailed from the mountainous district of Lachin. Stories of our grand house with abundant windows and my mother’s fond memories of riding horses through rugged cliffs filled my imagination. She often described it as a soaring experience, akin to flying. However, Armenian forces uprooted our ancestral existence, driving out everyone who was not Armenian. I never had the opportunity to witness our cherished house, embark on horseback adventures, or even see Lachin, except through news portraying its new Armenian name, “Berdzor”.
During my school years, I was taught that the Armenians were the villains responsible for all our tragedies. Considering my family’s personal experiences, it was not hard to believe. According to our history lessons, the Russian Empire had relocated loyal Christian Armenians from Iran to our country after the Russo-Persian wars in 1828. We learned that Armenians were devious and untrustworthy. Television broadcasts depicted Armenians as “the abominable enemy” and “vandals”. The atrocious acts committed by Azerbaijanis against Armenians in our major cities were denied, downplayed, or deliberately portrayed as Armenian orchestration to gain international sympathy and justify occupation. The ethnic cleansing of Armenians by Azerbaijani and Soviet troops during the infamous 1991 events was never acknowledged. Nor were we ever informed about the deliberate destruction of Armenian cultural heritage in Azerbaijan.
Over time, I realized that the Armenians received similar narratives about the Azerbaijanis. We were labeled “Turks”, evoking traumatic associations with the Armenian genocide. This labeling made us feel guilty for crimes committed in another land by a different people. The cultural, religious, and linguistic distinctions between Caucasian Azerbaijanis and Anatolian Turks, who had actually engaged in historical conflicts, were overlooked by Armenian nationalists. We were depicted as barbarian invaders from central Asia, devoid of history and culture.
Following our bitter fate in the 1990s, hatred engulfed Azerbaijan, eroding our society from within. President Ilham Aliyev assumed power in 2003 and restricted freedom of speech, with the glaring exception of hate speech against Armenians. Azerbaijanis are perpetually encouraged to harbor more animosity towards Armenians and hold them responsible for all our problems. The first family has faced accusations of benefiting from state contracts and business deals. Even the plight of those in Karabakh has become a tool for Aliyev to legitimize his oppressive regime.
Aliyev would have the world believe that the Armenians are leaving Nagorno-Karabakh voluntarily, but this is a fabrication. The Armenians are well aware of the grim fate that awaits them if they choose to stay. The current situation is undeniably ethnic cleansing in progress.
I left Azerbaijan 15 years ago, displaced once again, not by the Armenians, but by the cruelty of those who should have loved and protected me. I fled domestic violence when my father attempted to kill me because of my homosexuality. Unfortunately, there was no person or institution in Azerbaijan capable of safeguarding me. I am now as displaced as one can be, and through my words here, I may forever be barred from returning to Azerbaijan due to the risk of persecution. Nevertheless, my conscience compels me to speak out.
I want Armenian children forcefully uprooted from their homes to hear the words I longed to hear in the past: I am sorry we failed you. One day, as you comprehend the gravity of what has happened to you, hatred may creep into your hearts, urging you to seek vengeance. In that moment, take my outstretched hand and allow me to guide you back to our shared humanity. The only true division lies not between us and them, but between the perpetrators of violence and those who reject it.
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