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One of the most well-known metaphors from the 1999 film The Matrix is the concept of the “red pill.” Within the movie’s fictional world, individuals live in a carefully constructed simulation of reality that keeps them passive and unaware. The protagonist, Neo (played by Keanu Reeves), is given a choice by rebel leader Morpheus: he can either stay in the simulation by taking a blue pill, or he can break free and embrace reality by taking a red pill. This decision is not an easy one: does one choose to live in blissful ignorance within the Matrix, or to face the sometimes harsh truths of reality?
The idea of the “red pill” has made its way into our lexicon as a metaphorical choice we make in life. In recent times, it has been associated with political radicalization, but even before that, it represented the choice between numbing ourselves or confronting reality. On one hand, we can choose to indulge in the distractions of modern life, whether it be through drugs, social media, or smartphones. On the other hand, we can choose to face the often difficult truths about ourselves, our relationships, our work, and our prospects that we might prefer to avoid.
The red pill reveals our imperfections: it shows us that we are flawed, perhaps difficult to love, blameworthy, ignorant, and arrogant. This red pill has a tangible, nonmetaphorical form: it is known as humility. However, humility is not an easy remedy, and it requires repeated doses. But for those willing to take this pill time and time again, incredible rewards await.
Humility, which can be defined as modesty about one’s own importance or expertise, can manifest as an action (such as giving up a good seat for someone else), a way of living (leading a humble, unflashy life), or a character trait (avoiding the assumption that one is always right). Humility can be practiced intellectually, as seen in discussions about religion or politics, and socially, in our interactions with others, such as refraining from boasting.
The word “humility” stems from the Latin word “humilis,” meaning “from the earth” or “grounded.” Some philosophers view humility as the most honest way of approaching life. In many traditions, humility is considered a virtue, as exemplified by Jesus’s teaching that the meek shall inherit the earth and that the kingdom of heaven is reserved for the poor in spirit.
However, other philosophers, like Friedrich Nietzsche, reject this notion, considering humility a barrier to human progress and a defense mechanism for the weak and mediocre. Linguist Norvin Richards opposes this view, stating, “There are no splendid human beings.”
The best way to understand humility may be through the advice of 11th-century mystic Bernard of Clairvaux, who wrote, “If you examine yourself inwardly by the light of truth, you will be humbled in your own eyes.” Humility, then, is simply a realistic perspective—the red pill.
This does not imply that we should embrace a metaphysical theory of our inherent depravity. Rather, it means accepting the empirical fact that we tend to overestimate our strengths and underestimate our weaknesses when left to our own devices. Humility requires a full acceptance of the truth about ourselves.
The reason why we often resist taking this red pill is that it is difficult to swallow. Psychological studies have shown that individuals who approach their intellectual and religious views with existential humility—acknowledging the possibility of being wrong—tend to experience higher levels of anxiety compared to those with lower levels of humility. However, this should not deter us from embracing humility. Instead, we can view humility as a fitness program for the mind. Just as physical exercise requires acknowledging our physical limitations and enduring some discomfort, humility initially feels unnatural and even painful. But when we experience the positive results in all aspects of life, we realize it was worth it.
Studies have found that embracing the truth through humility brings improvements to various facets of life. For instance, humility can buffer the pain and stress caused by negative events. Humble individuals are also found to be more attractive to romantic partners, have more successful long-distance relationships, exhibit greater self-control, and are less likely to abuse drugs. Humility can also make us more generous and effective leaders.
Some humility advice is straightforward, such as talking less about ourselves and listening more. But for those who prefer the exercise analogy, here are three suggestions that have been effective for me:
1. Explore your weaknesses: Many self-improvement programs encourage us to focus on our strengths in order to maximize their potential. However, few programs help us understand our weaknesses, not just for addressing them but also to prevent us from thinking too highly of ourselves. Various tools, such as self-assessment instruments like the one from Gallup, can provide accurate insights into our weaknesses and facilitate personal growth.
2. Seek accountability from a friend: It is often easier to recognize humility in others than in ourselves. Humblebragging, for example, is when someone pretends to be humble while actually boasting about themselves, like a billionaire saying they don’t deserve their private jet on social media. Studies show that people can easily detect humblebrags and think even less of the individuals than if they had been straightforwardly bragging. Asking a friend to hold us accountable for authentic humility and pointing it out when we fall short is a mark of a true friend who understands the importance of personal growth.
3. Find inspiration outside yourself: The red pill doesn’t have to be bitter. Instead of solely focusing on diminishing ourselves to practice humility, we can also recognize and appreciate things that are greater than ourselves. Research has shown that exposure to awe-inspiring phenomena, such as the beauty of nature, automatically increases levels of humility. It leads to a more balanced perspective of our strengths and weaknesses and a greater acknowledgement of external factors contributing to our accomplishments. So, rather than boasting, take a moment to marvel at a breathtaking landscape or contemplate the life of a virtuous or holy person.
In conclusion, the practice of humility offers numerous benefits, many of which have been supported by research. However, there is one potential benefit that has not been systematically studied but may be the greatest of all. Humility, not as self-hatred, but as self-awareness and acceptance, enables us to embrace the fullness of life. So, seize the red pill and discover the transformative power of humility.
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