Discover the Inevitable Flaw of the Middle-Aged Love Island Concept | Reality TV Unveiled

People are getting incredibly excited about ITV’s latest dating show, My Mum, Your Dad. Some have compared it to a middle-aged version of Love Island, although the host, Davina McCall, prefers the term “midlife” over “middle-aged” for reasons that aren’t quite clear to me. Personally, when I hear “middle-aged,” I imagine grey roots and unfashionable shoes. And whenever I say “midlife,” it inevitably ends with “crisis.” So, let’s just go with “old.”

If you’re on the middle-aged spectrum and have watched Love Island, you’ve probably wondered how it would look if it were filled with older folks. The problem with the concept is that a significant percentage of the show’s appeal comes from the contestants looking good in revealing outfits. We’re all obsessed with celebrities maintaining their youthful physiques well into their later years. If Liz Hurley can do it, theoretically, so can the rest of us.

However, there are trade-offs. If you assemble a group of 45-year-olds who are as fit as the youngsters, chances are they lead disciplined lives. They probably don’t drink much, make impulsive decisions, or neglect self-care. They likely practice meditation and consume lots of fruit. It’s unimaginable how you could get these individuals to make poor choices. The question then arises: how entertaining would it be? Picture a retreat filled with people consistently making sensible decisions while trying their best not to hurt each other’s feelings. It’s something worth pondering.

When it comes to the sleeping arrangements, there will undoubtedly be extensive discussions about how everyone slept. The answer will inevitably be “poorly,” but the conversations will be filled with intricate details about the specific disturbances and passive-aggressive insinuations about who was to blame.

Of course, this is where editors come in, but I can’t help but wonder what will make the final cut. They’ll likely talk a lot about their past relationships, although some of that will have to be edited out for legal reasons. I’m concerned that at least one of them will have a hobby like crochet, which might not bode well for our collective reputation. In the end, they’ll probably say very little, and what little they do reveal will likely reflect poorly on all of us.

Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist

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