- In third grade, I had my son undergo testing for the talented and gifted program.
- He met the qualifications, but it only meant more hours of work for him.
- This year, he has enrolled in an alternative high school with shorter school days.
When my son was in third grade, he would come home with hours of homework every day. I decided to have him tested for the talented and gifted program, and he qualified, so I enrolled him. I had hoped that this program would provide him with a more enriching learning experience, but instead, it just resulted in more work for him compared to his peers.
His third-grade class focused on teaching both third- and fourth-grade curricula. On top of that, he had to practice typing skills every evening. Although disappointed, he rarely complained about the workload. However, things changed when he started middle school during the COVID-19 lockdown.
A struggle during the pandemic
From 2020 until now, school has become unbearable for my son. The sudden change in the world made homework the last thing he wanted to do. He would often retreat to the bathroom, claiming to be working on his assignments, but he was actually listening to audiobooks for distraction and comfort.
Even as pandemic restrictions eased, he continued to struggle with motivation and procrastinated on assignments. I couldn’t blame him, considering how chaotic the world still is. As a parent, I had always thought my role would involve pushing my child to do his best, but I found myself trying to convince him that grades don’t define his worth or intelligence. I reassured him that sometimes it’s okay to submit work that’s good enough.
He feels an immense pressure surrounding him, although it doesn’t stem from a specific teacher. It’s a societal pressure that we all breathe.
The uncertainty of his future
Since his first year in the gifted program, I’ve noticed that many of his peers are focused on competitive colleges and careers. In eighth grade, they were already contemplating their college majors. In contrast, my son’s answer to that question has consistently been “I have no idea.” This doesn’t surprise me, and I think it’s perfectly fine.
While it would be great if he had discovered his calling at such a young age, I also appreciate that his interests currently revolve around playing the guitar, creating songs on Garage Band, taking photos of our dogs, and mastering video games. I’m proud of him for being honest about not knowing, rather than making up an answer to satisfy adults’ expectations.
As an educator myself, I often ponder what kind of future we’re preparing our students for. Our world needs skills like connection, cooperation, intuition, community, and empathy. I want my son to learn the importance of slowing down, resting, and taking the time to explore his passions and find joy in them.
Embracing a new approach
Therefore, this upcoming year, we’ve decided to try something different. Fortunately, we have the option of enrolling him in a public alternative high school that offers flexibility and freedom.
Although he won’t have access to honors or AP classes, he will have the opportunity to learn about local flora, collaborate with artists, and work on bike repairs in the school’s shop. The school operates on half-day schedules from Monday to Thursday, allowing students to engage in independent work from home. Fridays are optional and designated for extra help.
I’m relieved that he’ll have a break from what we perceived as never-ending busy work. I hope both of us can take a moment to breathe, find meaning in what we do, and have time to prioritize what truly matters. I want him to have hands-on experiences, feel supported by caring adults, and be part of a community that values his learning and happiness over his achievements.
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