Celebrity breakups have always captured our attention. From Marilyn and Joe to Brad and Jennifer, our fascination with the love lives of the rich and famous has endured. This week, Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello announced their divorce, and rumors circulated about trouble in Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez’s marriage. We may not personally know these celebrities, but their breakups have a universal appeal.
Alicia Mintz, co-host of the podcast “Trashy Divorces,” believes that breakups are relatable to everyone. Endings are a common experience that people from all walks of life can understand. As our perception of relationships evolves and marriage rates decline, we still find ourselves captivated by celebrity romances. We root for some couples to stay together and hope that others will break up with mismatched partners.
While we often glamourize aspects of celebrities’ lives, such as their fashion and travel, experts argue that it is in their personal struggles and romantic conflicts that we find reflections of our own lives. Celebrities are just like us in these moments. Their heartbreaks and hardships can provide solace and comfort to those going through similar experiences.
The hosts of “Trashy Divorces” have explored over 500 celebrity relationships in their podcast. They’ve covered never-ending relationships like F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Fitzgerald and celebrated couples worth rooting for like Vanessa Williams. Mintz admits she had high hopes for couples like Grande and Gomez and Vergara and Manganiello, joking that they were “the only people who are pretty enough to be together.”
Laura Wasser, a prominent celebrity divorce lawyer, believes that divorce is the great equalizer, impacting everyone regardless of fame. The fear, heartbreak, and uncertainty surrounding divorce are universal experiences. However, for celebrities, the added pressure of public scrutiny can make the process more challenging. Wasser has represented numerous high-profile clients and has noticed a trend toward private settlements over the past decade. Approximately 90% of her clients choose mediation instead of courtroom battles.
Fans often witness the choreographed efforts behind the scenes as celebrities attempt to shut down speculation and gossip. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin popularized the phrase “consciously uncouple” when they announced their split in 2014. This approach aims to maintain privacy and a cooperative co-parenting dynamic. In the past, tabloids would comb through publicly filed court documents, but today’s electronic systems provide easy access. Wasser advises her clients that once they file for divorce, their private affairs become public knowledge.
By settling matters privately, celebrities are helping to destigmatize divorce and normalize it as a common aspect of life. This cultural shift could ultimately benefit society’s approach to divorce, according to Wasser.
Nelson Hernández, a marriage and family therapist, acknowledges that divorce stigma still affects many couples, especially when revealing the news to family members. Shame and judgment often accompany these conversations, particularly in religious families. Sharing a divorce with adoring fans adds an extra layer of difficulty.
Hernández notes that regular couples also try to control the narrative of their separation, just like celebrities. Many seek therapy to determine their own story rather than letting others define it for them.
Erika Evans-Weaver, a relationship and sex therapist, believes that fans feel a deep sense of involvement in celebrity relationships, partly due to the integration of friends and celebrities on social media feeds. This blurring of reality creates a fictional relationship dynamic with celebrities. We root for them just as we root for our friends.
Sometimes, our relationship with celebrities can border on parasocial, where we feel a deep connection or understanding despite not personally knowing them. Bobbi Miller, host of the podcast “The Afternoon Special,” suggests that there is an aspirational aspect to our interest in celebrity breakups. Deep down, we might think, “Oh, these two hot celebrities are single again; it’s great for me,” even though we know we don’t stand a chance.
Ultimately, celebrity breakups make us question the possibility of successful relationships. We have idealized certain celebrities as society’s paragons, capable of accomplishing anything. When they split, it elicits a mix of disappointment, shock, and intrigue. However, experts emphasize that divorce should not be seen as a failure or carry a stigma.
Dr. Evans-Weaver reminds us that marriage is a contract, and when that contract becomes null and void, it is not a failure but an act of self-honor.
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