Sociologist Sonia Salari of the University of Utah regularly asks her family studies class a thought-provoking question: “Who here is closest to their maternal grandmother?” The majority of hands shoot up. She then follows up with questions about grandfathers and paternal grandparents, and the number of hands dwindles. This survey segues perfectly into Salari’s lesson on the “matrilineal advantage.” Research shows that people tend to rate relationships with their mother’s side of the family more favorably, particularly with their maternal grandmothers. Studies have also found that grandparents tend to feel especially connected to their daughters’ children.
This trend is especially documented in the U.S. and Europe, where women are more likely to fulfill kinkeeping roles, such as maintaining family networks, organizing events and holidays, and being sensitive to everyone’s needs. Women’s presence in these roles tends to form tighter relationships between children and their maternal relatives. However, this division of labor isn’t universally applicable, as it weakens in European countries where stereotypical gender roles aren’t as prominent.
The same patriarchal system that has historically left women with disproportionate child-care responsibility has also given them invaluable closeness with family. When fathers and their relatives lack those tight ties, it can be a real loss for them. Research suggests that fathers who take leave are more engaged with their kids throughout the first years of their lives. This equitable parental leave could strengthen children’s bonds with their whole extended family and help shift expectations towards paternal kin.
Salari concludes that men are just as capable of caregiving roles, its high time they were given a chance to contribute.
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