I haven’t seen my friend Sarah in over ten years. We taught together in Cambodia back in the early 2000s, which seems like a lifetime ago. In a way, it actually was, considering how much has changed for both of us since then – we’ve both gotten married and had children. However, despite the distance, social media has helped us stay connected, which is why it was a funny moment when Sarah finally met my kids this summer. “So this is what they look like!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never seen their faces!”
It’s interesting to think about how social media has impacted our lives, especially when it comes to sharing photos of our children. Even though I’m someone who tends to overshare on social media, I’ve made the conscious decision to never post pictures of my kids’ faces online, not even on private accounts like Instagram or Facebook.
When I was pregnant and forming our family’s social media policy, I thought about a famous quote from Donald Rumsfeld, the former Secretary of Defense. Back in 2002, he spoke about the known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns when it came to weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. This perspective made me consider the ever-changing nature of technology and the potential risks associated with exposing our children on social media.
There are certain things we know about social media – its negative impact on mental health, the prevalence of bullying and cruelty. But there are also things we don’t know. How will my kids feel about my social media posts in the future? Will they be oversharing like me or more private like their dad? And there are even things we don’t know we don’t know. Back when my daughter was born, concepts like AI were unheard of. But given how rapidly technology advances, who knows what digital threats may emerge?
Now, we’re starting to see some of the answers to these questions. Even Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Meta, faced criticism for not revealing his daughters’ faces in an Instagram post. This shows that even someone with an inside view of the unknown unknowns of social media recognizes the importance of protecting his children’s privacy.
Another example is Heather Armstrong, one of the first “mommy bloggers,” who frequently shared her children’s lives online. Her daughter, Leta Elise, has spoken out about the challenges of growing up with such a digital footprint.
The risks go beyond just predators using our kids’ photos. What we say about our children can have unforeseen consequences, affecting their future social, romantic, and professional lives. Something as innocent as sharing a child’s developmental or physical challenges publicly could potentially harm them down the line.
We simply don’t know what could happen to a generation of children like Leta Elise Armstrong who have had their entire childhoods documented online. It’s important for parents to reassess how and what they share about their children on social media. Yes, it may seem cute and beneficial in the present, but we need to consider the potential long-term repercussions for our kids.
In conclusion, when it comes to social media and our children, we should be cautious and prioritize their privacy. We have a responsibility as parents to protect them from the known knowns, known unknowns, and most importantly, the unknown unknowns. As Bethany Mandel, co-author of “Stolen Youth: How Radicals are Erasing Innocence and Indoctrinating a Generation,” says, it’s crucial to keep our kids offline, not just on their own devices, but on ours as well.
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