- After giving birth, I spent $1,200 on new clothes and disliked everything except for a beanie.
- I felt lost and uncertain about my size and style preferences.
- Seeking help, I hired a stylist who transformed my wardrobe and now I enjoy getting dressed.
The boxes kept coming: Madewell, Levi’s, Nordstrom Rack. They filled our apartment’s narrow entryway, stacked on top of one another in precarious piles.
“I had to order multiple sizes,” I explained to my dismayed husband as I ripped apart cardboard, tugged on three different sizes of the same dress, and just as quickly pulled each off.
I’d spent $1,200 on my mail-order shopping spree, and I hated everything. None of it looked right on my postpartum body, and none of it looked like me, whoever the hell that was anymore.
I returned everything except a $10 beanie.
I had just given birth and didn’t know what I liked anymore
Four months after the birth of my second child, I was still wearing my stretch pants and milk-stained nursing tank every day. Because when did I have time to go shopping? What size was I? Could I still wear band shirts and crop tops? Did I even like crop tops anymore? What did I like?
The seismic shifts I’d experienced in my identity, lifestyle, and body since becoming a parent had manifested in fashion. I felt fundamentally and profoundly changed by motherhood and wanted to present myself differently to the world. But how?
Social media fed me more and more clothes ads
Detecting my ambivalence, clothing ads populated my social media feeds during late-night nursing sessions: semi-annual sales, 30% Off’s, Friends and Family, “We Never Do This But…” Sleep-deprived, lactation-depleted, and home-bound, I filled carts and double-clicked to purchase, getting caught in a consumerist vortex of ordering and returning clothes I couldn’t really afford and wasn’t even sure I liked.
One night, deep on my Instagram explore page, I saw something that stood out from the usual doom-scroll hellscape of parenting advice, color analysis, and gut-health biohacks. It was a reel of a normal-looking girl constructing a fun date-night outfit, pairing a secondhand dress with a chain belt and vintage cowboy boots. She didn’t talk about old-money aesthetics or millennial makeover trends. She talked about finding something she liked that expressed how she wanted to feel.
Her name was Sophie Strauss, and she billed herself as a “stylist for normal people.” Her website said that she worked with all types of clients, particularly those navigating life transitions, such as new moms.
I messaged right then, at 2 a.m.
She went through my whole closet
We started with a closet consult, going through every item to determine what was working and what wasn’t, and most importantly, why.
Through her analysis, I learned that I like dynamic, exaggerated proportions – like oversized jackets with cinched baggy pants and a tucked blouse – and deeply saturated colors. She showed me how to construct outfits with these elements using items I already had.
She taught me about fabrics and recommended durable, washable materials like cotton and denim to withstand the challenges of parenting young children.
I learned about proportions – the reason I always felt frumpy in a hand-embroidered cotton dress from Mexico was that it hit at the knees, truncating my legs. She suggested I get it hemmed, and since I have, it’s become one of my favorite dresses, the kind that total strangers will stop me to compliment.
The consult was not only educational but also didn’t involve buying anything. We were simply styling items I already owned in new and interesting ways. And we did it all while my baby napped and, once he woke up, crawled around the piles of clothes.
She also helped me shop for new things
Next, we went for an in-person shopping session – something I rarely have time for with a preschooler and a baby. We went on a morning when my daughter was at preschool. Sophie expertly scoured the racks at several vintage stores, finding items I’d never have discovered on my own, and then held my baby while I tried the clothes on. I almost cried.
I purchased several pieces that day that have since become staples in my wardrobe: fitted vintage overalls, high-waisted cotton pants, and a flattering pair of shorts. Not only were these items more affordable than the new ones I’d been buying online, but I also feel more confident in how I style them. Buying used also contributes to sustainability by reducing production, shipping, and returns – something I prioritize
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