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“Second place is just the first loser” is a well-known quote attributed to the NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt. Even my late father used to jokingly say, “It’s not enough to win. Your friends have to lose too.”
As much as we may not want to admit it, humans are born and wired to compete with one another. This competitive nature likely stems from our premodern past when resources were scarce. The desire to win still exists today and can sometimes lead to absurd behavior. People compete to be first in line to board an airplane, compare their social media likes, and even wealthy individuals envy those who are even wealthier. In my field of academia, I’ve witnessed bitter disputes over a few square feet of office space.
However, while competition may come naturally to us, it doesn’t always result in overall well-being. In fact, if left unchecked, it can lead to unhappiness for both ourselves and others. Fortunately, there’s a solution that doesn’t require completely abandoning our competitive nature: instead of always striving for the gold, aim for the bronze.
Building on the wisdom of Dale Earnhardt, third place can actually be the true winner when it comes to happiness and longevity. Research conducted on Olympic athletes has shown that bronze medalists tend to be consistently happier than silver medalists. Additionally, studies have found that bronze medalists have a longer lifespan compared to both silver and gold medalists.
The reason for this seems to be the way athletes perceive their achievements. Silver medalists often compare themselves to gold medalists and see themselves as the first loser. On the other hand, bronze medalists compare themselves more favorably to those who didn’t make it onto the podium. This downward social comparison leads to a greater sense of contentment and happiness.
The strategy of always striving for gold is not a sustainable path to happiness. Pinning our hopes for contentment on being number one is a precarious approach that often leads to disappointment. Instead, it’s better to engage in healthy competition where we do our best without expecting to always be the absolute winner.
Here are three key points to keep in mind as you embrace a bronze-medalist lifestyle:
1. Focus on your local community rather than comparing yourself to global standards. Rather than constantly looking at the lives of the rich and famous on social media, get involved in your local community. By doing so, you’ll have a more realistic frame of reference for your own accomplishments and find greater contentment.
2. Don’t put all your hopes on one event or competition. Singular victories can lead to disappointment and a sense of emptiness once the achievement is in the past. Instead, seek sustained and ongoing challenges, where you have multiple opportunities to excel and grow.
3. Compete against yourself rather than others. Most competitions against others can dampen our intrinsic motivation and enjoyment. Instead, challenge yourself to improve your own performance and focus on personal progress rather than external comparisons.
In the end, the true prize is life itself. Embrace daily challenges with the mindset of a Greek athlete in funeral games, asserting your vitality and celebrating your existence. The only person you need to compare yourself to is your past self.
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