Divorcing parents with children are increasingly turning to an unconventional living arrangement known as “birdnesting” to save money in the face of skyrocketing housing costs. This arrangement involves both parents taking turns living in the family home, typically on a weekly basis, while spending the rest of their time in a nearby rented flat. The name “birdnesting” derives from the similarity to birds taking turns caring for their chicks while they search for food. This unique arrangement was recently featured in ITV’s four-part drama series, “Our House.”
Lawyers have reported a growing number of clients pursuing birdnesting arrangements due to its cost-effectiveness compared to maintaining two separate family-sized homes. Additionally, the arrangement offers stability for the children involved. Helena, a 50-year-old author, shared her experience of nesting with her former husband for two years to care for their two sons, aged 18 and 14. She revealed that they rented a flat and took turns staying there, finding it significantly easier for their children to cope with their parents’ separation without the added stress of moving between two houses.
While Helena acknowledged the challenges of living in two places and the occasional inconvenience of forgetting items at the rented flat, she emphasized that it is far easier for adults to manage these aspects compared to children. However, she emphasized that successful birdnesting arrangements require a good relationship with one’s ex-partner, as frequent interaction and coordination are necessary when handing over the home or flat.
Elizabeth Fletcher, a member of the Law Society’s family law committee, attributed the increasing popularity of birdnesting to the current economic climate. Rising mortgage and rent costs make it difficult for divorced parents with young children to sustain two separate homes. As a result, birdnesting offers a practical solution to this financial challenge.
Laura Stocks, a solicitor with Wright Hassall, echoed this sentiment, stating that rising housing costs have made birdnesting arrangements increasingly necessary for many families looking to provide consistency for their children during the early stages of separation.
Adam Freeman, a 31-year-old who had a nesting agreement with his former partner, also emphasized the benefits of structure and planning that birdnesting provided. Following a period without any established arrangements, which led to conflicts about child custody, birdnesting provided a sense of stability for both the children and the parents.
According to Victoria Walker, a family solicitor with Moore Barlow, nesting agreements are typically decided by the two parties involved and are not imposed by a court. They are often short or medium-term solutions. Walker shared a recent case involving a professional couple in which the wife sought rental accommodation for some space. The couple then alternated their presence in the family home on a weekly basis, ensuring that their children did not have to leave their familiar surroundings.
Beth Behrendt, an American author whose book “Nesting After Divorce” will be published in July, has been in a birdnesting arrangement with her ex-husband for the past nine years. She praised the consistency it provided for their children, which helped reduce the stress of the divorce. Behrendt acknowledged the initial logistical and financial challenges but expressed no regrets about their decision.
Ben Evans, a family law solicitor with Co-op Legal Services, highlighted the importance of existing family finances in determining the feasibility and implementation of birdnesting arrangements. Those who have the luxury of a second home that was previously rented out have a greater ability to adopt this solution immediately. However, for those without such an advantage, renting an alternative property on a yearly contract is a more practical option.
Overall, birdnesting offers a creative and cost-effective alternative for divorcing parents to maintain stability for their children while managing the financial burden of housing costs. This unique arrangement requires a strong relationship with one’s ex-partner and careful consideration of existing resources. As housing costs continue to rise, experts predict that birdnesting will become an increasingly popular choice for divorcing parents in the future.
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