In the summer of 2019, Donna Johnson came across a fantastic deal: 23andMe kits were being offered at half price. Donna and her husband, Vanner, had been interested in getting their DNA tested to learn more about their heritage and potential health issues associated with their genes. With the discounted price, Vanner suggested purchasing four kits so they could also test their sons. He framed it as a fun family activity for their 14-year-old, Vanner Jr., and nearly 11-year-old, Tim. The boys were happy to participate, despite having limited knowledge about DNA. However, coordinating the timing for saliva samples proved to be a challenge. Nonetheless, within a week, the entire family was gathered around the kitchen table, spitting into little plastic tubes. They registered their kits online, sent off the samples, and went about their summer.
Handing over your DNA to a multimillion-dollar corporation in exchange for insights into your identity is no longer an extraordinary act. The Johnsons are just one of the many families worldwide who have used direct-to-consumer genetic testing services like AncestryDNA, MyHeritage, or 23andMe. These tests promise to uncover the truth about our ancestry, connections to the world, and potentially even predict future health issues based on our genetic makeup. DNA kits have become trendy gifts, the go-to present for someone who seems to have everything. In fact, about 1 in 20 people in the UK has taken a genetic test out of curiosity. As AncestryDNA puts it, “There’s no limit to what you might discover.”
Donna and Vanner awaited their results, receiving them on their 16th wedding anniversary. Vanner received his email notification first and noticed connections with familiar names. However, Tim’s name was missing from the list. Vanner found it interesting but tried to rationalize the absence, assuming it was due to Tim being a minor. Yet, this nagged at him throughout the day.
Later that evening, when Donna and Vanner reviewed the results together, they were shocked. It showed that Donna had two sons, Vanner Jr. and Tim. Looking at Vanner Jr.’s results, they saw a match indicating a half-brother through Donna. However, Tim’s results showed Donna as his mother but listed his father as “unknown.” There was no genetic connection between Tim and Vanner. They were not biologically related.
Vanner was devastated and felt like screaming. He couldn’t comprehend how his status as Tim’s father could be labeled as unknown when he had been involved in raising him since birth.
Donna’s mind raced, considering the possible explanations. Either there was an error with the test or a mistake had occurred during the IVF procedure they had undergone.
However, there is a third, unthinkable explanation that was never even considered: Donna being unfaithful to Vanner. This was out of the question for the couple, who had met in high school and had an unbreakable bond. They spent as much time together as a family as possible, with Donna even teaching at the same school their sons attended. Their summers were filled with camping, fishing, hiking, and road trips in their large minivan that was once purchased with dreams of a family of seven.
Coming from large families themselves, Donna and Vanner always assumed they would have a big family of their own. They envisioned five kids and a dog. Their dreams seemed to be coming true when Vanner Jr. was born without any issues. However, when they attempted to have their second child, they faced 18 months of unsuccessful attempts. Doctors initially believed the problem lay with Donna and gave her medication to stimulate ovulation. But it turned out that Vanner had scarring from hernia surgeries that blocked his sperm duct. While they couldn’t conceive naturally, they knew there was still hope with the help of IVF.
After considering two fertility clinics, they chose the University of Utah Center for Reproductive Medicine due to its specialization in male infertility. They felt comfortable with the staff and doctors, who showed great care and compassion throughout the emotionally and physically grueling process. Vanner underwent a testicular biopsy to retrieve his sperm for injection into Donna’s eggs. Their first cycle failed, and the second one was delayed by three months when Donna experienced ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome as a result of the drugs she had been taking. Eventually, their second cycle was successful, and Tim was born in 2008.
Tim was a beautiful baby with dark hair and wide eyes, but he also had reflux and was often fussy. He seemed discontented and could only be appeased by playing with a ball, a trait that puzzled his parents since neither of them were particularly sporty. However, they chalked it up to normal differences between siblings, as they had witnessed with their own large families.
Occasionally, Donna and Vanner discussed using the remaining frozen embryos they had stored for further attempts at conception. However, after failed transfers in 2011 and 2012, they decided to focus their time and energy on the children they already had, letting go of their dreams of adding to their family. It felt like the right choice.
For over a year, Donna and Vanner kept the results from their 23andMe tests to themselves. The consistent connections within the results indicated that there was no issue with the DNA test itself but rather a problem with the IVF procedure. Fortunately, their sons seemed to have forgotten about taking the test, as it was never mentioned. They wanted to avoid any disruption to their family dynamic. However, the secret caused anxiety and weighed heavily on them at times.
When the pandemic hit and the Johnsons found themselves locked down together, they realized they couldn’t keep the truth from Tim any longer. They decided it was best to disclose the information earlier rather than later, as they didn’t want him to discover it independently in the future and feel that they had hidden it from him. They wanted control over how and when they shared the news.
In October 2020, Vanner took 12-year-old Tim out for ice cream, intending to have a candid conversation with him. Vanner didn’t want it to sound rehearsed, but he had spent time planning what to say and chose to broach the subject in the car. As Tim played with his phone in the passenger seat, Vanner revealed that he had been conceived through IVF at a fertility clinic, a fact they had never kept from him. Vanner carefully expressed that something had gone wrong during the process, avoiding using the word “mistake” and instead saying that “something happened” resulting in Vanner not being Tim’s biological father. Vanner’s eyes filled with emotion as he recalled the moment.
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