When he asked me out on a first date, I never expected something so special — it felt like a scene out of a romantic movie. Initially, I had heeded my friends’ advice to keep my expectations low and opt for a casual coffee or drinks date to play it safe. As a newbie to online dating, their cautionary words were wise, but for some reason, I couldn’t help but feel hopeful about this particular date with T. in Calgary, Alberta.
Our conversation on Bumble had been engaging, so despite my friends’ warnings, I went into the date with an open mind and a touch of excitement.
His choice of venue took me by surprise
Perhaps I lucked out, or maybe it was his Leo sun sign influencing his grand gestures, but from the moment we met, the evening took on an extravagant and memorable tone — with just a few minor hiccups along the way. Dressed impeccably, he picked me up and whisked us away to a reservation he had made at a charming French restaurant.
As we settled into our seats, the conversation effortlessly flowed from where we had left off in our text messages. He did most of the talking, but I didn’t mind. The food was delicious, and I genuinely enjoyed listening to him. We discovered common interests such as reading, shared dream travel destinations, and the joys and challenges of being older siblings. Our mutual love for fitness even led us to exchange recommendations for classes and hiking trails.
Despite a couple of odd moments, the date continued
At one point during dinner, he made a comment that caught me off guard. Between bites, he advised me on how I could switch from my “boring” career to something more exciting if I acted swiftly. It struck me as peculiar since I had never expressed any dissatisfaction with my chosen profession. Nonetheless, I brushed it aside as the night neared its end, and we made our way back to his car. Little did I know, the evening was far from over.
Curiosity piqued, I eagerly awaited the next surprise he had in store for us. After some light banter during the drive, we arrived at an exquisite wine bar that matched the level of sophistication we had just experienced at the restaurant. When I mentioned that wine gave me headaches, he went out of his way to arrange for a special drink not listed on the menu. I appreciated the thoughtful gesture. By this point, we were already making plans for future dates, including spooky adventures at haunted houses for Halloween.
We seemed to be connecting, until things took a turn
As we bid farewell to the wine bar, I assumed we would part ways and continue our conversation via text the following day. But he had one more surprise up his sleeve: a visit to his favorite hidden spot, a hilltop offering breathtaking views of the city. Though close enough to the urban hustle and bustle, the spot felt serene and secluded, allowing us to admire the twinkling lights below and the shimmering stars above. The date was unfolding like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy.
Unfortunately, this is where our conversation took a slight downturn. It became evident that he was particularly passionate about discussing work, and so our conversation turned back to our careers. As a recent chiropractic school graduate who had been rejected from medical school, he felt the need to emphasize the significance of his chosen field. While I respected his journey, it was difficult to ignore his outlandish claims that chiropractors could cure cancer and eliminate the need for surgery. But we moved on from the topic and delved into other aspects of our lives.
What truly turned me off, however, was when he asked, “Can you make round rotis?” For those unfamiliar, in our shared Indian culture, this question is often used to gauge a woman’s suitability as a wife. I was taken aback by his inquiry, especially on a first date. It felt misogynistic and uncomfortable.
Despite these early red flags, we continued to stay in touch through text messages for a few months. Then, inexplicably, he ghosted me. While it’s not uncommon in the realm of dating, I can’t help but wonder if his penchant for extravagant first dates was simply a means to find a suitable partner. I’ll never know for sure, but it serves as a reminder that even the most spectacular date doesn’t guarantee a lasting connection.
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