Written by Arthur Brooks, “How to Build a Life” is a captivating column that delves into the topics of meaning and happiness. If you’re interested, you can click here to explore his podcast series on the art of building a happy life.
I have a friend who possesses an exceptional ability to bring happiness to those around him. Surprisingly, he achieves this not through superficial means like booze or flattery, but simply by virtue of his personality. He embodies extroversion, conscientiousness, and agreeableness – all traits that psychologists suggest attract a large circle of friends.
However, what sets him apart and makes him truly captivating is his enthusiasm. He is passionate about his own work and genuinely intrigued by mine. He exudes excitement when talking about his family, as well as when discussing topics such as the economy and politics. In the words of 19th-century philosopher William James, he possesses a true “zest” for life’s ordinary aspects.
I used to think that my friend’s happiness explained his enthusiasm, but I soon realized that it was actually the other way around. Enthusiasm is a personality trait that has a significant impact on happiness. In fact, each of us can boost our own happiness by cultivating a zest for the common aspects of our lives. And the best part? It’s not as challenging as it may seem.
The study of personality has existed for centuries, with roots in ancient Greece. Hippocrates, in the fourth century B.C., proposed the theory that our character is determined by four temperaments: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic. These were thought to be influenced by the dominance of bodily fluids: yellow bile, black bile, blood, and phlegm. Although this approach has been surpassed by medical advancements, Hippocrates paved the way for modern personality thinking.
Throughout the 20th century, scholars developed a personality typology that still holds relevance today. In 1921, Carl Jung distinguished between introverts and extroverts, while Donald Fiske, in 1949, expanded on this work by identifying five major personality factors. Further research has refined these traits, naming them openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
Over the past 70 years, the Big Five personality traits have been extensively studied and applied to various social phenomena. For example, extroverts tend to be socially outgoing, making friends easily, while introverts form more profound connections. High neuroticism individuals who are affluent tend to derive less enjoyment from their wealth compared to those lower in neuroticism. Additionally, extroverted and conscientious individuals lean towards conservatism, while those open to new experiences adopt more liberal views.
Out of the Big Five traits, two have been shown to significantly impact happiness. In 2018, psychologists found that high extroversion and low neuroticism were key factors in well-being. More specifically, the correlations were linked to enthusiasm and withdrawal, respectively.
Enthusiasm and withdrawal can be seen as opposite ends of a behavioral spectrum. Enthusiasm is characterized by a friendly and sociable nature, actively engaging with life, while withdrawal reflects a tendency to easily feel discouraged and overwhelmed, causing one to retreat from social situations, turning inward. The data suggests that by increasing enthusiasm and reducing withdrawal, one can become happier and even more successful. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in his essay “Circles” in 1841, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm,” emphasizing the marvel of abandoning oneself to the wonders of life.
One can envision the ideal personality for achieving a happy life. However, it’s important to note that significant changes in personality are typically associated with traumatic brain injuries, making it unlikely for most individuals to completely alter their personalities. Nonetheless, smaller shifts are possible, as my colleague Olga Khazan has noted. A 2020 study demonstrated that by utilizing reminders, individuals were able to modify their behavior, even if only temporarily.
If you wish to embrace life with more enthusiasm, you can try implementing a similar reminder system. Set up alarms on your phone or send yourself daily emails that say, “Open yourself up to all the people and experiences you encounter today!” However, there are other deeper interventions worth exploring as well.
1. Employ the “as-if” principle: In his influential 1890 book, “The Principles of Psychology,” James proposed a radical philosophy of behavior change – pretending. Recognizing that emotions are often beyond our control, he suggested that by acting as if something were real and persistently behaving that way, it would eventually become a genuine part of our lives. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist, supports this concept in his book “The As If Principle,” arguing that acting more extroverted leads to success and increased happiness. Faking enthusiasm is quite simple; when you find yourself wanting to withdraw from social activities, force yourself to act enthusiastic. Tell yourself, “I am fully engaged in this moment right now.” According to research, this practice establishes new cognitive habits that gradually become automatic.
2. Reframe challenges as opportunities: Norman Vincent Peale, a renowned self-improvement writer and Protestant pastor, espoused the power of positive thinking. His book “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” contains wisdom from a sage friend: “Always be glad when there is trouble on the earth … for it means there is movement in heaven; and this indicates great things are about to happen.” While such thinking may appear overly optimistic, it exemplifies the art of reframing problems as opportunities. This technique is commonly used in creativity, innovation, and effective business leadership. Entrepreneurs often adopt this approach after setbacks, reflecting on the lessons learned. You can cultivate enthusiasm for activities you would normally withdraw from by affirming, “This is challenging for me, which is precisely why I should undertake it,” or using a similar affirmation.
3. Choose your friends wisely: One of the most effective methods of becoming more enthusiastic is to surround yourself with enthusiastic people, much like my friend. Psychologists call this phenomena “emotional contagion,” where individuals unconsciously adopt the emotions and attitudes of those around them. It’s easy for withdrawal-prone individuals to gravitate towards others who exhibit similar tendencies. However, consciously seeking out companions who embrace life fervently can help you absorb their positive qualities. Though initially it may feel like a chore, you are more likely to catch this spirit and become enthusiastic about your relationships.
It’s important to understand that fighting your inclination towards withdrawal doesn’t imply the eradication of solitude. There is a distinction between a neurotic withdrawal from life and intentional moments of solitude. Furthermore, a constant need for company and stimulation is not necessarily indicative of good mental health. What truly matters is your underlying motive – whether you are moving away from others or towards the solace of solitude, or conversely, whether you are moving towards others or avoiding your own thoughts.
Henry David Thoreau did not write “Walden” as an exercise in withdrawal, but rather as an enthusiastic endorsement of self-discovery amidst nature. It serves as a reminder of the fulfillment that can be found when leaning into life with enthusiasm and curiosity.
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