<h1>The Struggling American Man: An Unexplored Perspective on Women’s Lives</h1>
<p>The concerning decline of American men is a topic that transcends political divisions. Both conservatives and liberals acknowledge men’s underrepresentation in higher education, their susceptibility to despair, and the growing number of men uninterested in work. However, the discussion often overlooks the consequential impact of male decline on the lives of women. In her book, “Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs,” Marcia C. Inhorn, a medical anthropologist at Yale, sheds light on this neglected aspect.</p>
<p>In 2014, Inhorn interviewed 150 American women who had chosen to freeze their eggs, primarily heterosexual women seeking a partner for a committed relationship and parenthood. Contrary to popular belief that career advancement motivated women to freeze their eggs, Inhorn discovered that it was actually their singleness or unstable relationships with commitment-phobic men that drove their decision.</p>
<p>Inhorn, who had spent decades studying assisted reproductive technologies and gender dynamics in the Middle East, observed a stark contrast between young Arab men’s eagerness for fatherhood and the stories shared by young American women. These women struggled to find men who were ready and willing to commit. Inspired by her own experience with freezing her eggs and inspired to learn more about Inhorn’s work, the author began developing a relationship with Inhorn in 2018, leading to the creation of this book.</p>
<h2>The Historical Context of Female Doctoral Students</h2>
<p>Inhorn’s research taps into a narrative that has been present for decades. Women of her generation, including herself, were among the first to enroll in higher education in large numbers. Many women in her cohort experienced difficulties finding partners who were not intimidated by their educational achievements, resulting in either remaining single or “settling” for subpar relationships that eventually ended. This predicament is not unique to Inhorn or her peers but has long plagued women in communities where economic challenges led to widespread unemployment among men, fostering their reluctance to enter committed relationships or start families. The introduction of egg freezing provides a new opportunity for women with the financial means to extend their reproductive window while continuing their search for a partner with whom they can share parenthood.</p>
<h2>The Rise of Egg Freezing and Its Implications</h2>
<p>Although the use of egg freezing remains limited, its popularity is rapidly increasing. From 2020 to 2021, the United States witnessed a 46 percent rise in the number of procedures performed, totaling approximately 24,500. While egg freezing does not guarantee successful live births, advancements in the technology hold transformative potential. This breakthrough allows women to conceive children biologically linked to them well into their 30s and beyond. However, it is essential to acknowledge that pregnancy risks increase with age.</p>
<p>Behind the surge in egg freezing lies a broader issue known as “the mating gap,” as identified by Inhorn. In 2012, when egg freezing shed its “experimental” label, female college graduates outnumbered their male counterparts by 34 percent. Today, this gap has only widened, with an estimated 3 million more women than men holding college degrees among Americans aged 22 to 39. Consequently, highly educated women seeking compatible male partners face significant challenges, as the pool of eligible, educated, equal, and committed men (the “three e’s”) diminishes in comparison to the demand for partnership, pregnancy, and parenthood (the “three p’s”). Therefore, egg freezing serves as a technological compromise to address the gender disparity prevalent in the United States.</p>
<h2>The Complexities of Egg Freezing as a Solution</h2>
<p>While egg freezing offers a potential solution for individual women, it is not a sustainable or scalable answer to the structural mismatch of desires and expectations. The stories shared in Inhorn’s book shed light on the intricate dynamics of heterosexual relationships today—matters that impact fertility rates, the economy, and the future of families. Most importantly, the book captures the emotional anguish experienced by women who grapple with loneliness and the desire for parenthood—an aspect that has often been overshadowed in discussions surrounding egg freezing.</p>
<h2>Growing Interest and Financial Factors</h2>
<p>The demand for egg freezing has attracted significant attention from investors, leading to substantial investments in egg-freezing studios and clinics aiming to enhance the accessibility and user experience. Despite being marketed as a form of self-care, egg freezing is not a decision undertaken lightly. The process involves administering high doses of hormones over several days or weeks to stimulate the growth of multiple eggs, frequent clinical monitoring, and a retrieval procedure under sedation. The eggs are then rapidly cooled and stored for years.</p>
<p>In the United States, the cost of egg freezing can range from $7,500 to $18,000 per cycle, depending on the location and clinic, in addition to annual storage fees. Some patients undergo multiple cycles, particularly older women, to accumulate the recommended 15 to 20 eggs for a reasonable chance of a successful pregnancy. Although the perception of fertility patients often revolves around wealthy white women, nearly one-third of the women Inhorn interviewed identified as nonwhite, primarily Asian American.</p>
<h2>Unsatisfactory Relationships and Archetypal Challenges</h2>
<p>Around 20 percent of the women interviewed by Inhorn froze their eggs due to medical reasons, such as preserving their fertility before cancer treatment. However, the majority of the book focuses on women’s accounts of frustrating relationships. While these stories solely convey their side of the experience, patterns emerge. For instance, Kayla, an accomplished professional with an Ivy League MBA, froze her eggs at 38 after realizing her partner, Matt, would never commit. Lily, a curator, froze her eggs at 43 due to her partner’s continuous procrastination on marriage and children. Tiffany, an engineering and MBA degree holder, underwent two egg-freezing cycles on a credit card after unsuccessful attempts to find a partner amongst men from various educational backgrounds.</p>
<p>Based on these recurring patterns, Inhorn identifies 10 archetypes responsible for dating difficulties, including “feminist men” who fail to contribute in the name of gender equality, “Peter Pans” who prolong adolescence without any immediate marriage plans, and “younger men” who struggle with dating. Understanding the origins and complexities of these challenges sheds light on the broader issues surrounding egg freezing and its implications.</p>
<h2>In Conclusion</h2>
<p>While egg freezing offers individual women a potential solution, it cannot address the underlying structural problems of desire and expectation disparities. The book emphasizes the overlooked pain experienced by women seeking companionship and parenthood and highlights the urgent need for a comprehensive approach to address the gender inequality prevalent in the United States.</p>
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