Reject the Idea of Working while Female

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Mastering the ability to decline requests is a crucial skill.

To achieve remarkable things, knowing when to say no is essential.

People-pleasing behavior stems from fear, not virtue.

Despite a multitude of books on saying no, the publishing industry seems fixated on endorsing this idea rather than challenging it.

Don’t Say Yes When You Want to Say No was published in 1975 and has since been joined by The Power of Saying No, 100 Ways to Say No, The Joy of Saying No, How to Say No, and No Will Set You Free.

One would assume that this issue might have been resolved by now. However, the impending challenge faced by people-pleasers during the summer months made me question this assumption.

Working throughout July and August increases the risk of being burdened with additional tasks due to absent colleagues or oblivious supervisors.

Given the current economic difficulties, it is more important than ever to comprehend the struggle of refusing requests.

Unfortunately, the abundance of books on this subject fails to address the root cause: poorly managed organizations that lack a clear understanding of roles and responsibilities.

While some books offer valuable advice on assertiveness and strategic refusal, they often overlook the issue of individuals’ fear of disappointing others and the consequences of being labeled a workaholic pushover.

I vividly recall a senior executive from a large company dismissing candidates who consistently worked beyond regular hours, stating that their inability to prioritize and work efficiently disqualified them for promotion.

This phenomenon is not exclusive to a particular gender. I recall the surprise of a male colleague who noticed my crowded online calendar compared to his own nearly empty one.

However, it is predominantly women who bear the burden of thankless and unrecognized tasks.

For evidence of this, I recommend reading The No Club, an insightful book published last year, which delves into the issue of “non-promotable tasks” (NPTs) that predominantly fall on women, such as mentoring, training, scheduling, note-taking, and committee work.

The authors’ research consistently reveals that women are often assigned these tasks more frequently and are more likely to accept them.

In essence, there exists a collective expectation that women will shoulder the responsibilities that never make it to an organization’s official communications.

This disparity extends across various industries, including supermarkets, airport security, and law firms. For instance, at a major professional services firm, the average woman spends approximately 200 hours per year, almost an entire month, more than the average man on non-promotable work.

While some organizations have taken steps to address this gender divide in task allocation, many more should follow suit. Equal distribution of tasks benefits not only fairness but also the overall productivity of a business, preventing overburdened individuals from settling for less.