We conducted a comprehensive review and ranking of Ben & Jerry’s top 10 ice cream flavors. While some flavors like The Tonight Dough and chocolate-fudge brownie didn’t impress us, classics like Cherry Garcia and Phish Food were definite winners. My name is Lucien Formichella, an experienced taste-tester, and for this undertaking, I enlisted the help of my friend, Clayton James Smith. Together, we embarked on a journey to taste and evaluate these flavors, pushing our limits to see how much ice cream we could handle in one go.
Chunky Monkey:
Lucien (allergic to nuts): Unfortunately, I couldn’t partake in this flavor due to my nut allergy, so Clayton took the reins on this one. He confidently began the taste test, unaware of what awaited him.
Clayton: Smooth and delicious, this flavor is perfect for a warm summer night or a post-workout treat. Not being a fan of walnuts in desserts, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the banana ice cream. I couldn’t resist taking a few extra bites even after my review. Pace yourself, Clayton!
Brownie-batter core:
Lucien: While this flavor is undeniably delicious, it falls short when taking into account the overall balance. The brownie batter is gooey and rich, but the vanilla ice cream gets overshadowed by the overpowering chocolate. As someone who isn’t a huge fan of chocolate ice cream, I found it a bit too heavy. Clayton, on the other hand, seemed lost in a chocolate-induced daydream.
Clayton: Rich and decadent in all the right ways, this flavor is a chocolate lover’s dream. Each element is perfectly executed, and the brownie-batter core takes it to the next level. It’s the ultimate ice cream for blissful moments like the embrace of a new love or a fun day at the beach. But excuse my momentary zoning out there, I was just caught up in the sheer delight of this flavor.
Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream:
Lucien: This is one of my favorites, and it’s hard to find a better ice cream flavor. The combination of vanilla ice cream and caramel is absolutely divine. I particularly enjoy the inclusion of bits of waffle cones – it feels like an extra treat. My only preference would be sugar cones over waffle cones. Clayton eagerly moved on to the next flavor, demonstrating a childlike enthusiasm reminiscent of discovering Narnia.
Clayton: Smooth, creamy, and utterly delightful, this ice cream is perfect for cozying up on the couch and enjoying late-night television. It provides all the elements you desire – a hilarious monologue, entertaining sketches, banter with the house band, and relatable celebrity stories. On a side note, I once made it to the semifinals with a writing packet I submitted to “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.” But I promise that doesn’t influence my glowing review of this comedian’s phenomenal ice cream. (I hope they hire me!)
Strawberry Cheesecake:
Lucien: While this flavor might not be as impressive as some others on this list, it remains undeniably tasty. The strawberry ice cream may not have the freshest taste, but the addictive pie-crust chunks keep me reaching for more. Clayton, unfortunately, took a call just before trying this flavor, and I couldn’t help but shake my head. Ice cream reviews require focus, after all.
Clayton: This ice cream delivers on all its promises, and the graham-cracker-crust lining is the best part. Personally, I’m not a big fan of strawberry cheesecake, but it’s a perfect choice for those who are.
Phish Food:
Lucien: Another delicious choice, although it does suffer from an excess of chocolate flavor. The caramel, while enjoyable, is better executed in Americone Dream. The ice cream and fudge chunks are a bit heavy. However, I do appreciate the inclusion of marshmallows, an underrated ingredient that adds a unique touch to the ice cream. I couldn’t help but watch as Clayton fell into the trap of overindulgence during our review.
Clayton: This flavor is the perfect blend of chocolate ice cream, caramel, marshmallow, and fish-shaped fudge pieces. The marshmallow truly steals the show with its soft and fluffy texture, elevating the overall experience. I could easily devour an entire pint within minutes, but the sweetness reminds me of the inevitable hangover after a Phish show.
The Tonight Dough (starring Jimmy Fallon):
Lucien: While the cookie dough is undoubtedly the highlight of this flavor, I found myself overwhelmed by the multitude of competing flavors. It’s like being bombarded with too much goodness that it’s hard to focus on any one element. Each flavor is fantastic on its own, but the combination feels disjointed, like someone laughing in the middle of a funny sketch. Clayton appeared to share my sentiment as he struggled to comprehend the complexity.
Clayton: There’s an explosion of flavors in this ice cream – caramel and chocolate ice cream, chocolate-cookie swirls, and chocolate-chip and peanut-butter cookie dough (which steals the show). It’s an attempt to pack everything you love into one package but falls short, tasting rather superficial. It’s like a second-rate ice cream inspired by a second-rate late-night talk show. (Please hire me, “Late Show”!)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough:
Lucien: I found this flavor much more enjoyable than The Tonight Dough – sometimes, less is more. While it may not be the most memorable flavor, it’s still quite good. It’s a safe choice that I would serve at a large gathering. The chocolate chips add a decadent touch, and I appreciate its simplicity. Clayton took small bites and poured the rest back into the pint, complaining about fatigue and stomachache, yet he couldn’t resist taking more.
Clayton: Each spoonful of this ice cream becomes more inviting, with chocolate chip cookie dough embracing you and reassuring that everything will be okay. It’s the perfect remedy for a post-breakup slump – go ahead, indulge in a pint, and let your tears flow. This ice cream won’t judge you.
Chocolate Fudge Brownie:
Lucien: While this is not my personal preference in ice cream, it certainly lives up to its name. The brownie is rich and decadent, although it can be a bit heavy. I appreciate the dark chocolate taste imparted by the fudge, despite it being a milk-based dessert. (I’m running out of steam here, all this sugar is catching up to me, but I can’t let Clayton see my weakness.)
Clayton: This flavor delivers on its promises. It’s similar to the strawberry-cheesecake flavor in its straightforwardness, yet it’s less complex. Personally, I prefer chocolate over cheesecake. It’s perfect for achieving a sugar high that will inevitably leave you crashing 30 minutes later. That being said, Lucien, are you holding up okay?
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