My partner has a rescue dog who has a history of biting people, especially visitors to his home. Although I am no longer personally afraid of the dog, the thought of being responsible for it in my home while hosting guests is unacceptable to me. This is mainly due to my own stress caused by the dog’s aggressive barking and attempts to bite guests in my presence.
As a result, any plans for living together have come to a standstill. My partner is reluctant to rehome the dog, except for the circumstance of having a child, as he acknowledges that the dog is not safe to be around an infant. How can we resolve this impasse and move forward in our relationship?
The care of a dog is an important responsibility, and as a potential cohabitant or co-parent, you can gauge a person’s capacity for love and attachment through how they treat their pets. This is why it is wise to avoid marrying individuals who lose their temper with dogs.
The fact that his dog has bitten people is a significant issue that can have legal ramifications, as you have pointed out. Therefore, learning about someone’s character through their treatment of animals applies to both parties in this case.
In one scenario, the dog has had a traumatic past and is receiving extensive training and exercise to address its aggressive tendencies. Crucially, your partner acknowledges the problem and takes appropriate steps to prevent the dog from injuring guests. He carefully monitors the dog’s interactions with people during walks and at the dog park. In short, he shows genuine concern for the safety of others the dog may come into contact with.
However, in another scenario, your partner does not comprehend the severity of the issue. He may be one of those dog owners who lets their animals snap at other dogs or children. He may respond with cooing or baby-talk inducements, expecting you to agree that his dog is cute and harmless.
If it is the former scenario, you need not be alarmed about your relationship. If you plan to have a family together, a couple of years of living separately while your partner continues to take care of his dog might not seem like a long wait. It could even indicate that he is committed to putting in the effort and time required to ensure the dog’s welfare. However, if it is the latter scenario, it is an indication of how your partner will prioritize other people, including you.
There will be instances in your relationship, particularly as parents, where you need your partner to stand up for you. You will need him to tell other parents, teachers, or your children’s friends that certain behaviors are not acceptable. If he expects you to assume the responsibility for a biting dog’s stress, anxiety, and social awkwardness without acknowledging the burden, it tells you a lot about how he values your wellbeing, let alone the dog’s.
In conclusion, how your partner views the issue is critical. If he sees the problem as grave and takes appropriate action, it is a positive sign. If he expects everyone else to deny that there is a problem with his dog, it is a red flag. This stall could be an opportunity for you to evaluate how much you want to be with someone who fails to recognize how their decisions affect others’ emotions and safety.
If you have any conflict, crossroads or dilemma you need help with, Eleanor Gordon-Smith can help you think through life’s questions and puzzles, big and small. She is available to assist you with anonymous inquiries.
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