Azka Shafiq made the decision to remove screen time completely from her toddler’s daily routine seven months ago. Since then, she has noticed significant differences in her daughter’s behavior and has taken to sharing her journey on TikTok. Azka’s journey of saying no to screens is a thought-provoking and enlightening tale that she shares with Charissa Cheong.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children under 18 months should not have any screen time, while children between 2 and 5 years old should limit their screen time to one hour per day or less. However, a recent study conducted by the Cleveland Clinic revealed that 79% of two-year-olds and 97% of three-year-olds surpassed these recommendations.
The following account is based on a conversation with Azka Shafiq, a 29-year-old instructional designer from Toronto, Canada. The content has been edited for brevity and clarity.
My husband, Adnan, and I got married seven years ago. We welcomed our daughter, Alayna, five years later, and she is now 21 months old. Having a child completely transformed our lives. I work from home full-time, and during my maternity leave, my husband would often work long hours away from home, leaving me alone with Alayna most of the time. Since Alayna has always been extremely attached, the TV became a handy distraction for short periods when I needed a moment to myself, such as running to the bathroom. We would also give her a phone to watch videos during car rides when she was upset and irritable.
While screen time was helpful, I always felt guilty about relying on it. What bothered me the most was how Alayna would completely disconnect from her surroundings and focus solely on the screen.
When Alayna turned one, my in-laws visited us for two months, and the TV was constantly on. I started noticing a significant change in Alayna’s behavior. She struggled to play by herself, had difficulty concentrating for extended periods, and her sleep patterns were disrupted. My husband also noticed the same issues, so we decided that once my in-laws left, we would detox Alayna from screen time.
Eliminating screen time was a challenging process that began with guiding Alayna towards independent play. In January, we went cold turkey and emphasized the importance of play to our daughter. However, this was a difficult adjustment since she was not accustomed to playing on her own. To help her get used to it, I started taking her to play centers in our area. Initially, we had to provide a lot of guidance on playing independently with toys as she was used to constant engagement from others. Since January, I have witnessed a significant improvement in her imaginative play abilities.
We also made it a daily routine to spend quality one-on-one time with Alayna in the mornings instead of rushing through our daily tasks. Our mornings have become much slower, and she usually plays with her miniature kitchen set while I prepare breakfast for us. During the day, when we are not at a play center, she engages in play at home. I rotate her toys frequently to keep her engaged and prevent overwhelming her with too many options. Limiting the number of toys allows her to focus and avoids decision fatigue.
We have also replaced screen time with books during long car rides, and Alayna has become incredibly skilled at flipping through them. I can see and hear her talking to herself, pointing at pictures, or simply observing the world outside the car window. She now appreciates the little things and finds joy in everyday experiences, which is a significant change. Children who watch screens are often exposed to unique, fast-paced content, making simple everyday activities seem dull in comparison.
It has been approximately seven months since we eliminated screen time, and the results have been remarkable. We plan to continue this approach until Alayna is at least two years old before considering whether or not to reintroduce screens in the future.
I have been documenting my journey on TikTok to showcase the possibility of zero screen time to other parents. It is important to me to share my experience without judgment towards other parents. When I first became a mother, especially as a first-time mom, I felt an immense responsibility to constantly entertain my child. If she was simply lying there gazing at her surroundings, I would question whether she was bored or needed me to engage with her. I believe part of my message is that parents, especially mothers who often shoulder a heavier parenting load, need to let go of the guilt associated with not constantly entertaining their children. This guilt often leads parents to rely on screens for respite. Many parents, particularly mothers, are overwhelmed by the thought of not having a screen to rely on, making it challenging to know where to start when it comes to limiting screen time.
While I understand that zero screen time may not be feasible for everyone due to varying life circumstances, I believe that acknowledging the negative impact of screen time and making small changes is achievable for all. For instance, considering when and how we expose our children to screens and avoiding making it a daily routine. These adjustments can make a significant difference.
Overall, my hope is to show parents that limiting screens is not only possible but crucial. I want to highlight the positive impact we have experienced, share our journey, and inspire others to embark on a similar path. Demonstrating the feasibility of a screen-free lifestyle is my ultimate aim, empowering parents and making them realize that they can do it too.
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