Feeling Like I’m Constantly Missing Out on Summer Activities

• As a child, summer was pure bliss.
• Now, as an adult, it brings on anxiety due to the overwhelming number of things to do.
• I constantly experience FOMO in both my online and offline life.

During my childhood, summer was a time of pure joy. The prospect of at least six weeks away from school felt like an endless stretch of blue skies, freedom, and unlimited possibilities. Nowadays, as an adult, it feels like an insurmountable challenge.

I find myself torn between the fear of missing out on socially expected summer activities like picnics, barbecues, and music festivals, and the exhaustion that comes from trying to keep up with others. Striking the right balance is never easy, and this summer, it seems particularly difficult.

A Feeling of Loneliness

Recently, I returned to London after 18 months of being a digital nomad, and I realized that I had lost touch with my usual social circle. “My weekends are fully booked until October!” lamented a close friend, while another complained about the expenses of attending European destination weddings. Meanwhile, I silently judged myself for not having a packed social calendar like everyone else.

Being single and living alone, I understand that my life stage inherently involves less social commitment compared to my married or parent friends. However, instead of finding solace in solitude, I have been feeling a deeper sense of loneliness this summer.

While there may be like-minded individuals on TikTok who also feel lonely in the summer, overall, social media exacerbates my feelings of isolation and FOMO. Upon my return to London, scrolling through Instagram made me believe that everyone I know was either at a countryside wedding or a music festival surrounded by groups of friends I didn’t recognize.

I have since learned that we share twice as many social media posts during the summer compared to any other time of the year, which only amplifies feelings of loneliness if you’re already experiencing them.

Summer Loneliness is a Common Experience

Smriti Joshi, a clinical psychologist working with the mental health app Wysa, assures me that summer loneliness is a widespread experience. One reason is the disruption of routines that typically occur during this season. Close friends or family members may be on vacation, or parents may be preoccupied with childcare during the school break. Joshi also mentions the damaging effects of the “comparison culture” perpetuated by Instagram, which is further intensified by the higher volume of summer-related posts. This, along with the increased social expectations we place on the summer months, can lead to feelings of isolation.

However, the alternative solution is far from perfect. As a childfree individual in my thirties, I have resorted to sending countless texts, making back-to-back plans, and attending a packed schedule of outdoor concerts, dinners, and boat events. Yet, this has pushed me into a state of social overdrive and occasionally resulted in burnout.

According to Joshi, many of her clients experience social anxiety during the summer. The abundance of challenging social situations with unfamiliar faces, such as company parties and weddings, can be overwhelming, especially for those who already struggle with social anxiety. Additionally, body image concerns can add to the stress, as the expectation to wear less clothing in warmer weather can trigger insecurities.

Furthermore, there is a risk of experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) even in the summer, a condition typically associated with the winter months. Joshi explains that some individuals have a physiological disposition towards SAD during summer, experiencing irritability, frustration, and mood changes due to light sensitivity, longer days, and increased brightness and heat.

Interestingly, studies have shown that cortisol levels, the stress hormone, spike more during summer compared to winter. This contradicts the belief that sunshine automatically leads to a positive mood.

Like any other season, summer has its ups and downs, and it’s important to recognize that these fluctuations are normal. Whether you’re having a socially anxious summer or feeling an unseasonal sense of loneliness, know that you are not alone.