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Prepare to be captivated by the extraordinary gathering at this unique dinner. The illustrious guest list includes the legendary First Duke of Wellington, Arthur Wellesley, brought back to life from his tomb in St Paul’s Cathedral specifically for this occasion. As an author, I am already anticipating the duke’s disapproval, given his dislike for writers. With bravery fueled by Irish whiskey, I will challenge his grumpiness and host him in a private dining room at a Covent Garden hotel.
But fear not, for the arrival of my second guest, the charming and intelligent Joanna Lumley, will surely lighten the atmosphere. Lumley, proven to be the key to unlocking the duke’s sociability, will effortlessly engage him, just as he once demolished Marmont’s army at Salamanca. Meanwhile, I will eagerly welcome my third guest, Emma Smith, esteemed professor of Shakespeare studies, who will help unravel the mysteries surrounding the life of the enigmatic William Shakespeare.
As the gazpacho and Sancerre are savored by all, we relish in the lively conversation. Each guest has been carefully selected to contribute their wit and intelligence. Finally, the late arrival of the illustrious Benjamin Franklin completes the ensemble, providing the necessary spark to ignite a conversation filled with gossip and intrigue. Even the initially skeptical duke is won over, thanks to Franklin’s charisma and the roast lamb prepared in his honor.
With the warmth of Montepulciano wine to loosen tongues, Lumley expertly probes the duke about his lackadaisical response to Napoleon’s advance on Brussels. Franklin interjects with witty remarks, expressing his shock at the tales of Donald Trump’s presidency. The conversation flows effortlessly, with Shaksper (as he insists on being called) and the duke reveling in their enduring fame. Franklin’s concerns about the constitution are dismissed by Shaksper, who humorously remarks that the “American garden” was clearly unattended, allowing undesirable elements to flourish.
As the carriages arrive, the guests bid farewell, each expressing their delight at the memorable evening. I present the duke with a copy of my account of the Battle of Waterloo, a gesture he graciously accepts. Yet, the next morning, the book is discovered discarded in a gutter. Meanwhile, Smith holds on to the sonnet Shaksper penned on the back of a menu, dedicated to her and signed with his iconic “WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE” in capital letters, followed by an exclamation mark and the number seven.
Bernard Cornwell is an author. “Sharpe’s Command” is published by HarperCollins on October 10
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