“How to Build a Life” is an enlightening column written by Arthur Brooks, which delves into the topics of meaning and happiness. To explore these subjects further, you can listen to his podcast series, “How to Build a Happy Life,” by clicking here.
I had a dear friend who lived most of his life near the beautiful Severn River in Maryland. The Severn is technically classified as a “tidal estuary,” a brackish inlet where salt water merges with fresh water from the Chesapeake Bay. My friend once described it to me as the most human river, as it has the exact salinity of human tears.
The idea of a river composed of tears may seem like a scene from a Greek tragedy. However, to my friend, it represented a mystical and captivating contradiction—a fusion of sorrow and natural splendor. Crying, too, is contradictory in its nature. It can accompany profound grief or sheer joy, serving as a response to anger, frustration, or even to express the ineffable beauty of poetry.
While crying is often associated with untamed emotions, it holds the potential to be a powerful tool for maintaining emotional balance and serenity. It can bring about a sense of equilibrium, peace, and perhaps even a glimpse of the divine.
Crying is a universal human experience that sets us apart from other species. Though various animals vocalize distress for help, only humans shed tears as a response to emotional stimuli rather than physical irritation. Extensive research by Dutch psychologist Ad Vingerhoets has revealed that helplessness and loss are two consistent triggers for negative crying across different cultures and populations.
Occasionally, however, we also shed tears of joy. This phenomenon perplexes scholars as it seems counterintuitive to respond to overwhelmingly positive emotions with a seemingly negative expression. Recent research conducted in multiple countries suggests that happy crying occurs during four main occasions: overwhelming affection, such as weddings; exceptional achievements, like winning an award; moments of awe-inspiring beauty, such as exquisite music; and intense amusement. Despite classifying these occasions, the seeming illogicality of happy crying remains.
Interestingly, there may be a profound connection between happy crying and sad crying—they both emerge as responses to emotional extremes, suggesting that tears serve as a mechanism for restoring emotional equilibrium. Overwhelming negative emotions are crucial, even life-saving, during crises such as separation from loved ones or imminent threats. However, remaining in this heightened state is neither helpful nor pleasant, so we naturally seek to reduce stress and improve our mood, which crying effectively accomplishes. Some researchers argue that we also need emotional resetting when confronted with overwhelming joy, as ongoing rapture can be draining and distracting from the tasks of daily life.
The exact mechanism through which crying maintains emotional balance is yet to be definitively established. Some researchers propose a literal interpretation of the Jewish proverb “What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.” Biochemist William H. Frey, in his book “Crying: The Mystery of Tears,” hypothesizes that tears eliminate stress hormones like cortisol. Another theory, although less widely accepted, suggests that tears help cleanse the blood of toxins and unwanted chemicals.
Emotional balance is essential for overall well-being. While experiencing strong emotions is part of being human, persistently fluctuating between emotional highs and lows is detrimental to mental health. People who struggle with dysregulated emotions, both positive and negative, may suffer from a mood disorder known as “cyclothymic disorder,” which significantly impacts their quality of life.
Crying, however, is not a remedy for all of life’s challenges. Involuntary weeping, especially in professional settings, can lead to embarrassment, which is unlikely to contribute to one’s happiness. This is particularly true for men, possibly due to societal stigma, and for individuals high in conscientiousness, who dislike burdening others.
In such situations, individuals may attempt to prevent crying to avoid feelings of shame. Folk remedies include pushing the tongue into the roof of the mouth, relaxing the face, or even pinching oneself. Alternatively, surrounding oneself with understanding individuals who won’t judge a few tears can provide emotional release without resorting to physical discomfort. In more extreme cases, it may be worth considering a job change that aligns better with personal fulfillment and doesn’t induce excessive weeping.
Evolutionary biology sheds light on the scientific aspects of human tears, but there remains a deeper mystery surrounding crying. Otherwise, my friend’s observation about the Severn River would be as eloquent as calling it a river of sneezes.
Crying holds great significance in religious iconography, mythology, and transcendent experiences. For instance, the Christian Bible contains the shortest verse of “Jesus wept,” describing Jesus’ response to the death of his close friend Lazarus. This verse is often interpreted as a sign of God’s empathy with humanity—the joining of divine and human nature. Just as we were made in God’s image, God immerses Himself in our joys and sorrows by coming to Earth. Thus, the quintessentially human experience of crying may also be our most divine one.
Denial of responsibility! VigourTimes is an automatic aggregator of Global media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, and all materials to their authors. For any complaint, please reach us at – [email protected]. We will take necessary action within 24 hours.
