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In today’s digital age, the risks of children sharing personal information on social media are widely discussed. However, it is also worth considering what parents should think about when posting about their kids online. This issue extends beyond just protecting children from predators, but also encompasses the potential negative effects of oversharing on their self-esteem, social connections, and privacy.
The first generation of children born in the era of Facebook is now coming of age, raising questions about growing up under constant surveillance. Reflecting on both the drawbacks and benefits of this reality is valuable for parents and non-parents alike.
To offer advice on posting about children online, I consulted child development specialists and experts. One key recommendation is to ask for a child’s permission before sharing anything about them on social media. By doing so, parents demonstrate respect for their child’s perspective. Even if parents are proud and want to share their child’s achievements, the child might feel self-conscious or embarrassed. It is a natural human tendency to care about what others think of us, according to Sara Valencia Botto, a lecturer at Emory University.
Deborah Heitner, author of the upcoming book “Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World,” emphasizes the importance of asking for permission to teach children about privacy and reputation. This habit can make them more comfortable in asking their friends not to post videos of them online and encourage them to be mindful of their friends’ privacy as well. By modeling respectful sharing practices, parents establish a value system that children will carry into their own interactions.
Some parents choose to protect their children’s privacy by not showing their faces or limiting the sharing of online photos altogether. It is crucial to be discerning about what and where parents choose to share about their children. Heitner advises applying the “golden rule” of imagining how one would feel if they were in their child’s place. Sharing moments that might embarrass or humiliate the child should be avoided. However, this does not mean that parents cannot share challenging or joyful parenting moments. Heitner suggests selective editing that focuses on the positive aspects of those moments.
Waiting 24 hours before sharing a post, as recommended by Heitner, allows parents to carefully consider the content’s appropriateness. Selecting more controlled spaces, such as a private Instagram account for family, is also an option. Parents should tailor their sharing based on the sensitivity of the information.
Moreover, parents need to be aware of how their own technology habits influence their children. Mitchell J. Prinstein, Chief Science Officer of the American Psychological Association, notes that children learn from observing the behavior of adults around them. Therefore, if adults exhibit unhealthy tech habits, it sends a message to children that online activities are essential for social status and relationships.
Prinstein advises reflecting on the motivations behind sharing online. Whether it is to showcase a child’s achievements, seek support in challenging times, or simply share their child’s cuteness, parents should be conscious of their intentions and consider whether they align with their core values.
Despite the potential drawbacks, sharing online can be beneficial for both parents and children. Memorializing milestones and daily life can create positive experiences and connections. Sharing parenting challenges and triumphs can also be empowering, as it allows individuals to compare their own experiences and gain support from others.
In conclusion, when it comes to posting about children online, it is essential for parents to prioritize their child’s privacy, consent, and well-being. By maintaining open communication, being selective in sharing, and reflecting on their own online behaviors, parents can use social media as a tool to create positive experiences and connections.
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