Adolescent Relationship Abuse: What Parents Need to Know
Engaging in derogatory comments on your date’s Instagram posts, sharing inappropriate selfies with classmates, physical violence, sexual assault, manipulation, and cyberbullying – all of these behaviors fall under the umbrella of adolescent relationship abuse (ARA).
A recent research brief published by Pediatrics, the journal for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), reveals that ARA affects 20% to 30% of teens in the United States, with significant implications for their physical and mental well-being. The 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also found that among U.S. high school students who had dated in the past year, at least 1 in 12 reported incidents of physical or sexual dating violence. Furthermore, female and LGBTQ youths were found to be at higher risk for these types of abuse.
However, many parents are unfamiliar with the term “adolescent relationship abuse” and are unsure how to protect their children or recognize warning signs as they enter into their first relationships. Let’s explore what experts have to say about this serious issue that can manifest even before the teenage years.
Defining Adolescent Relationship Abuse
About 15 years ago, experts started using the term “adolescent relationship abuse,” which has gained more prominence today, as explained by Emily Rothman, a social epidemiologist and professor at Boston University. While it is still acceptable to use the term “teen dating violence,” there are reasons why the newer phrase is preferred.
“Teen” refers specifically to individuals aged 13 to 19, whereas “adolescent” encompasses a broader range, including the preteen stage to early adulthood. Additionally, young people often use terms like “talking,” “hanging out,” or “hooking up” instead of “dating,” making the word “relationship” more encompassing and useful.
The term “abuse” goes beyond physical and sexual violence, also incorporating mental abuse, psychological abuse, cyber-stalking, and other harmful actions.
Research Findings and Expert Opinions on ARA
Dennis Reidy, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at Georgia State University, emphasizes that ARA is more prevalent than people think. According to the CDC, estimates suggest that 10% to 18% of high school students experience some form of physical abuse, and around 10% experience sexual violence from a dating partner. Reidy warns that addressing ARA is crucial as its consequences can persist for decades and influence future generations.
The effects of ARA are far-reaching, impacting various aspects of victims’ lives. They may be more likely to become teen parents and engage in risky sexual behaviors. Additionally, the trauma endured may erode their ability to refuse unwanted sex and impact their overall confidence and well-being.
Studies have also found that certain groups of adolescents are more at risk for ARA. Female students and those identifying as LGBTQ or unsure about their gender identity are more likely to experience physical and sexual dating violence compared to heterosexual students.
ARA in adolescent relationships sets the stage for long-term problems. Studies have shown that it can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and antisocial behaviors such as lying, theft, and bullying. Victims of ARA are also more prone to suicidal thoughts and ideation.
Furthermore, abusive behaviors tend to peak in early adulthood, underscoring the importance of early intervention and education on healthy relationship dynamics.
Recognizing Red Flags
Rothman highlights that adolescents often alternate between being the aggressor and the victim in a relationship, unlike in adult relationships where one person typically assumes a single role. This dynamic makes it crucial for parents to be alert to signs from both sides.
Here are some red flags parents should look out for:
- Excessive time spent with a partner instead of friends
- Withdrawal from social activities and signs of depression
- One partner consistently making all the decisions
- One partner’s constant need to know the other’s whereabouts and access to personal accounts
- One partner assuming a caretaker role for the other’s mental health
- Pressure to send explicit images or share private information without consent
Guidance for Parents
According to Jeff Temple, a licensed psychologist and the John Sealy Distinguished Chair in Community Health at the University of Texas Medical Branch, parents and educators need to actively address the issue of abuse in relationships. Starting conversations about healthy relationships early on is crucial.
Temple suggests that parents model healthy relationships themselves by treating others with respect and kindness, whether romantic partners, friends, or strangers. By observing healthy interactions in various contexts, adolescents can learn appropriate behaviors.
It is also important to teach children about consent, making it clear that choices and autonomy over one’s body should always be respected. For instance, allowing children to decide how they greet relatives reinforces the message of bodily autonomy.
Research emphasizes the effectiveness of early intervention. A recent study published in Pediatrics found that a classroom-based healthy relationships curriculum reduced physical ARA perpetration among seventh graders one year later.
Supporting Your Child
If a parent is concerned about their child’s relationship, Rothman advises proceeding with caution. Demanding that the relationship ends may not be the most effective approach. Instead, parents should be noninvasive, gentle, and respectful.
Here’s how parents can approach the situation:
- Express concern without being confrontational
- Empathize with their emotions and well-being
- Suggest taking a break from the relationship or confiding in a trusted friend
Listening to adolescents is crucial during this tricky age. Temple emphasizes the importance of ongoing conversations, treating adolescents as individuals who are still learning and developing.
Children often witness their parents arguing but may not observe effective conflict resolution. Parents must model healthy reconciliation, showing their children that apologies and growth are essential in relationships.
By laying a foundation of open communication, respect, and healthy relationship dynamics, parents can help their children navigate the complex landscape of relationships and reduce the risk of adolescent relationship abuse.
