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Mike Tyson, renowned as one of the greatest boxers in history, boasts an impressive record of 50 wins and only six losses, with 44 of those wins ending in knockouts. Tyson’s journey to success was no easy feat, as he grew up surrounded by crime and poverty. Despite his challenging background, he persevered and achieved his childhood dream of becoming the world heavyweight champion at the tender age of 20 in 1986.
However, Tyson’s life was far from perfect, plagued with crises, failed relationships, and legal troubles that resulted in a nearly three-year prison sentence in the 1990s. While he achieved wealth and fame, true happiness seemed to elude him.
This situation may appear ironic or contradictory to some, but for Tyson, it was neither. In a 2020 interview, he confessed, “You almost have to give up your happiness to achieve your goals.” This can be referred to as the Tyson Paradox. Building a fulfilling life requires setting goals that provide focus, enthusiasm, and keep us out of trouble. However, attaining those goals may not bring the expected satisfaction and could potentially lead to misery. Although most of us may never experience the extreme highs and lows that Tyson endured, we can easily fall into similar traps.
Having ambitious goals in life is generally regarded as a positive thing by psychologists since the 1970s. Such goals provide structure, meaning, and often lead to higher satisfaction, as long as progress is made. As a result, the notion that achieving these goals will bring about positive effects has largely been unquestioned, as psychologist Bettina S. Wiese writes.
Yet, many of us can think of personal examples that counter this notion. Losing weight, for instance, can bring immense satisfaction when progress is made and the scale shows a decline. However, once the target weight is reached, the reward becomes avoiding weight gain rather than experiencing progress. This shift can explain the development of problematic dieting behaviors among a significant portion of dieters. Research shows that approximately 35 percent of dieters may develop pathological dieting behaviors, with 20 to 25 percent developing partial or full eating disorders.
The underlying issue behind the Tyson Paradox is known as the “arrival fallacy.” This fallacy stems from the assumption that reaching a goal or destination will result in lasting happiness. However, this is impossible due to our innate inability to maintain a strong emotional state. We naturally return to our emotional equilibrium, known as homeostasis, to prepare for new circumstances. Therefore, it is less about not being able to attain satisfaction, as the Rolling Stones claim, and more about our inability to sustain it.
Researchers have demonstrated the arrival fallacy in various ways. Athletes, for example, often encounter this problem of goal attainment. In a study on job satisfaction among young university professors, it was found that they systematically overestimated their happiness by approximately 13 percent upon attaining tenure—a significant goal for aspiring academics. This finding is consistent with the personal experience of many, including myself. When I received tenure in 2004, my wife and I celebrated with a dinner, yet spent the evening worrying about our child’s misbehavior. On the bright side, those who were denied tenure were 27 percent less unhappy than they anticipated.
For individuals with bipolar disorder, goal attainment can trigger a mental health crisis. Researchers found that achieving a life goal can lead to a manic episode in this population. While most people experience a sense of anticlimax after attaining a goal, individuals with mania may spiral into intensified goal-seeking behavior due to heightened dopamine levels in the brain.
Considering all of this, one might conclude that the solution to the Tyson Paradox is to give up on life goals entirely. However, that is not the case. The key is to set the right type of goals.
Research on job satisfaction published in the Journal of Applied Psychology in 2005 shed light on this matter. Data collected from hundreds of individuals showed that those who focused on intrinsic professional goals, such as fun and enjoyment, experienced significantly higher job satisfaction than those who prioritized extrinsic goals like material rewards. This finding aligns with previous research indicating that relationship goals bring more well-being than achievement goals. People who prioritize fostering deeper connections in their friendships, marriages, and family tend to be happier than those solely focused on worldly rewards.
Even within achievement goals, a reinforcing pattern can be observed. A 2017 study revealed two types of achievement goals: mastery and performance. Happiness stemming from performance goals was dependent on favorable comparisons with others. This suggests that when such comparisons are unavailable, the goals can lead to unhappiness. In contrast, mastery goals contribute to overall satisfaction independent of social comparisons.
In short, social and relational goals that involve giving and receiving love are most likely to counteract the Tyson Paradox. Achievement goals, especially those based on comparison with peers, are more susceptible to the arrival fallacy. This contradicts much of the self-improvement literature that focuses on attaining wealth and power.
For individuals driven by ambition, this perspective may challenge their decisions. It may seem absurd to say that neglecting one’s children to become marginally wealthier than one’s neighbor is not a valid reason. If this discomfort arises, it may be a result of being a “success addict” who prioritizes being special over being happy. Through my research, I have encountered numerous cases of individuals who fit this description. Iron Mike himself may have fallen into this trap, which could explain his statement that goals can clash with well-being. Recognizing this conflict can lead to a reevaluation of life priorities.
In conclusion, I have one last lesson to share about goals. As an old Zen Buddhist proverb states, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” This proverb encapsulates the idea that the reward for winning a pie-eating contest is often more pie.
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