After Ryan and I tied the knot, I discovered that he had been raised to be both generous and frugal. Unfortunately, I had accumulated debt due to a previous breakup and medical bills, causing me to rely heavily on my credit card. Thankfully, Ryan has been supporting me in my journey to improve my financial situation, and I have managed to pay off more than half of my credit-card debt.
Before we got married, Ryan and I were just two young individuals pursuing our graduate degrees. We enjoyed going out with friends, indulging in greasy-spoon diners, and occasionally treating ourselves to sushi dates. It was important to me that we split the bill equally, even if it meant putting my share on my credit card. Money wasn’t a frequent topic of discussion for us at the time, and it wasn’t until after we got married that I realized the stark contrast in our financial upbringings.
While Ryan is content wearing clothes he has owned for a decade and receives hand-me-downs from his brothers who enjoy shopping, my spending habits took a different route. Throughout our dating phase, we focused more on our immediate plans, such as weekend activities and trying out new restaurants, rather than discussing money matters that felt more like long-term planning.
However, once we got married and started delving deeper into our financial backgrounds and habits, I learned that Ryan had been taught the importance of saving money from a very young age. His father had given him a piggy bank made out of a giant plastic bear, and Ryan would diligently save every extra coin he had. By the time he reached 10 years old, his parents opened a savings account for him, where money from occasions like birthdays, Christmas, and Lunar New Year would be deposited. Ryan’s upbringing instilled in him the value of being financially savvy to support not only himself but also others in need.
Ryan’s family strongly believed in the concept of giving back, which was deeply influenced by his grandmother, Arlene. Arlene, who had been an orphan, married Ryan’s grandfather and together they moved to the US. Determined to rise above her past circumstances, she immersed herself in learning English and investing in real estate in Los Angeles and Pasadena. Arlene’s passion for cultural education brought Ryan and his cousins on trips around the world, exposing them to various countries and their unique heritage. However, Arlene also wanted to impart a legacy of generosity, leading her and Ryan’s grandfather to establish the Cheng Family Foundation, which supports students and the arts.
Reflecting on Arlene’s life, Ryan attributes her drive and dedication to never returning to a life of instability, uncertainty, and poverty that she had experienced as an orphan. Although not explicitly discussed during her lifetime, it is evident that Arlene’s financial decisions were a means of ensuring stability and creating opportunities not only for her family but also for those in need.
As for me, I started working at a young age, taking on various jobs to support myself through college and graduate school. I currently hold a full-time position as a web-content administrator at a public university, and I also engage in freelance writing on the side. My frugal habits can be traced back to my grandfather Cecil, who raised his family in a modest house in Kentucky. Despite his humble circumstances, he managed to save diligently while working as a math teacher, allowing his wife and two sons to have a comfortable life. His thrifty nature even afforded him the ability to embark on summer trips across the US, where he would camp. His financial planning was so effective that my grandmother never had to work, even after his passing.
For a long time, I adhered to a disciplined saving and budgeting lifestyle. I financed a study-abroad trip in high school and only withdrew small amounts of cash from my checking account during the initial years of college. However, after a difficult breakup in college, I began to rely on my credit card to indulge myself and have fun with friends, a behavior I had not exhibited before.
Initially, I only used my credit card for occasional brunches and rounds of drinks for friends. Throughout my graduate school years, I accumulated credit card debt but tried to pay it off gradually. However, the situation worsened when I experienced a significant health issue in late 2017. Multiple emergency room visits and the need for an expensive biologic to manage my chronic condition put me in a financially precarious position.
Realizing the need to overcome these habits, I made the decision to prioritize my financial well-being after marrying Ryan and starting a family. Ryan has been a helpful guiding force throughout this journey, and together, we engage in regular conversations and goal-setting sessions. Here are some of the financial best practices we follow:
1. Avoid spending beyond your means.
2. Make a concerted effort to pay off debt.
3. Live within your means.
4. Utilize budgeting documents or apps.
5. Carefully allocate every dollar from your paycheck, ensuring that it serves a purpose that aligns with your financial goals.
6. Only use a credit card if you can immediately pay off the balance.
Implementing these tips may seem straightforward, but it requires dedication, impulse control, revisiting long-term goals, and envisioning the life you desire.
At the beginning of this year, I set a goal to completely eliminate my credit-card debt. Thanks to Ryan’s support, I am more than halfway toward achieving this milestone. My journey has once again highlighted the value of financial intelligence, and I am reminded of my father-in-law’s words: “There are two types of people in this world.” Thanks to the inspiration derived from Ryan’s family legacy, I am resolute in my choice of which type of person I want to be.
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