I am quite fond of television dating shows, but is the abundance of these shows becoming overwhelming? It seems like there is an infestation of different formats taking over the schedules. Soon, there will be an excessive number of pushy individuals trying to find love or create the most attention-grabbing “storyline.” Could this excessive presence of dating shows on TV be influencing the way ordinary British people approach romance in real life?
The dark side of the Love Island franchise, including the suicides of presenter Caroline Flack and contestants Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis, is well-documented. However, dating TV shows in general are experiencing a gold rush with numerous shows. Love Is Blind involves bonding without seeing each other in pods, The Ultimatum presents the choice to marry or leave, Married at First Sight speaks for itself, Temptation Island tests couples, Naked Attraction involves naked participants, Sexy Beasts features flirting in bizarre masks, and The Love Trap sends evictees crashing through trap doors. There are even more shows excluded from this list that I considered too lowbrow or depraved. These shows make you question the state of humanity while wanting to remove your own eyeballs.
Adding to this overflowing arena, ITV is launching another show called My Mum, Your Dad, often referred to as the “older Love Island.” Hosted by Davina McCall and based on a US format by Greg Daniels, co-creator of Parks and Recreation, this show features divorced or widowed participants seeking romance in a country house while their adult children spy on them and influence their decisions. It could be a charming opportunity to showcase mature love, or it could turn into a full-on Freudian nightmare. Either way, nothing will stop me from watching it.
Is there a deeper reason why people like me are so drawn to these shows (beyond our addiction to gossip and drama)? According to a discussion panel at the Edinburgh TV festival, the popular appeal of dating shows reflects the difficulty of finding love in the outside world. Dating apps, catfishing, ghosting, and commitment-phobia have turned modern dating into a dystopian landscape of crushed hearts and lost hope. However, it’s hard to believe that TV dating shows can serve as a universal cure.
Most dating TV shows seem to be focused on cynicism, careerism, and creating an image for Instagram. They are far removed from the innocence of Blind Date with Cilla Black. In this overcrowded television landscape, even relatively mild shows like First Dates can seem quaint (is it weird to watch people dine and have conversations?).
There isn’t much evidence to support the idea that people need TV dating shows beyond entertainment. Some shows like I Kissed a Boy, Indian Matchmaking, Jewish Matchmaking, and even the latest series of Love Island offer meaningful connections, insights into humanity, and cultural revelations. However, they also promote ruthless branding and awkward flirting. Still, do TV producers genuinely believe that people will turn to dating TV for solace and inspiration after experiencing their own failed relationships? Will people look at Love Island and think, “My relationship failed, but I can find hope from these swimsuit-clad lovebirds who might actually stay together”? Or will they say, “I will wear a dragon mask on my next date and see if it improves my luck”?
The appeal and influence of dating TV shows are undoubtedly complex. From a production perspective, these shows are relatively cheap and profitable compared to dramas. For viewers, dating TV is a form of escapism, providing entertainment and laughs rather than a reflection of reality. While dating apps and TV shows may have altered the mindset and expectations of younger viewers, it has also heightened their cynicism. These viewers are aware of the artificiality of romance on TV and are not easily fooled.
In conclusion, dating TV viewers are not naive. They recognize that despite the abundance of shows, the spectacle, and the noise, they are still watching a form of entertainment and the participants are individuals who desire fame and attention. The fundamental question remains the same since the days of Blind Date: Are these contestants participating for love or for the pursuit of fame? Underestimating this savvy audience would be a grave mistake.
Barbara Ellen is an Observer columnist
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