Inquire Amy: Mother-in-law manifests favoritism towards one grandchild in estate planning

They have one daughter, Kristen, who does not work and spends selfishly and lavishly. She has other children she doesn’t see or raise.

My mother-in-law has always favored Kristen but is a wonderful presence for all her grandchildren. She now wants to transfer the family vacation cottage to my husband, with the rest of her estate going to his brother. However, this transfer will result in significant fees and taxes for us.

To preserve the cottage in the family, we have agreed to take on these costs. We have been managing and making improvements to the property for the last few years. Our children enjoy it as well.

The catch is that my mother-in-law wants us to also give her a significant amount of money to fund Kristen’s education. Without this money, she threatens to sell the cottage, leaving nothing for our children. I am heartbroken over this unfairness. We have always taken the high road in the past, but I am conflicted about using my hard-earned money to support Kristen’s education.

This situation has the potential to damage the relationship between our families. However, I struggle to justify funding Kristen’s education based on her parents’ negligence and selfishness.

Should I let go of my anger towards the history of favoritism in this family and accept the imbalance, or should I walk away and risk ruining relationships to preserve something important to

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