At the beginning of the year, I found myself in my kitchen, laughing and wondering if I was crazy for booking my comedy show at the Fringe. Now, eight-and-a-half months pregnant, I can confidently answer that question: yes, I am crazy. While many women feel beautiful during pregnancy, I personally feel more like Danny DeVito’s Penguin from Batman Returns. With skinny legs and a big round belly, just walking around has become a challenge due to the extra weight I’m carrying. And the hilly terrain of Edinburgh certainly doesn’t help. Gravity is no friend to the heavily pregnant.
Pregnancy is far from a passive experience; it’s hard work and it often comes with a lot of pain. However, when people ask how I feel, they expect a magical response. Instead, I might grumpily reply that I feel big, hot, and hungry, which isn’t exactly the answer they were hoping for. Society has conditioned women to refrain from complaining about the hardships of reproduction. We’re made to feel shame about our periods, pregnancy, and menopause. But these are natural processes that contribute to the miracle of life. Women are in the business of creating people, and it’s high time we acknowledge the challenging working conditions that come with it.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the normal but largely untreatable symptoms of pregnancy: migraines, vomiting, frequent urination, exhaustion, dizziness, diarrhea, constipation, hemorrhoids, bleeding gums, and internal pain caused by shifting organs. On top of that, our breasts hurt, our nipples darken and grow to the size of small dinner plates. It’s quite the experience!
During pregnancy, it’s crucial to have support from friends, family, or hired help. In my case, that help comes in the form of Andrew, my 6ft 2in friendly Irish “husband,” who I jokingly blame for getting me into this situation. For our journey to Edinburgh, bringing along all our essentials seemed like a clever idea. We packed baby clothes, a car seat, a cot, and even our practice baby, our adorable dog Charles Barkley. Not to mention my massive pregnancy pillow and all our other belongings, which made it difficult for my husband to see out of the back window.
Now, the thought of an eight-hour drive back to London at 37+ weeks pregnant feels impossible. The constant need to pee every 15 minutes doesn’t exactly allow for efficient travel on the motorway. My husband suggested I try a Shewee, but I jokingly threatened to divorce him on the spot.
In all honesty, being pregnant with my husband’s baby sometimes feels like we’re partners in a school science project, where I’m doing all the work for nine months, but he still gets the same grade just because he brought the pen. However, he has been absolutely amazing throughout the festival. He’s driven me everywhere, managed my social media, cooked, and even braved rainy street corners to hand out flyers for my show.
I am thrilled to be performing my show every night, which tackles all the weird, awkward, and difficult aspects of pregnancy. Comedy, at its finest, is cathartic. It’s been incredibly cathartic to share my pregnancy experiences and fears of becoming a parent on stage, accompanied by a room full of people who can all laugh together at the confusing and weird nature of this phase of life.
Despite the challenges, pregnancy is a privilege. This isn’t my first time being pregnant at the Fringe. Around this time last year, I had just found out I was pregnant, and while I felt nauseous and frustrated that I couldn’t join my friends for drinks or indulge in my cravings, I would have never imagined the devastating pregnancy loss I would experience in October.
When the time came to decide whether or not to participate in the festival, even though I had just discovered I was pregnant again, I refused to put my life on hold. After a miscarriage, it’s natural to have doubts about the future. But now, I will reach full-term in the last week of the Fringe, and for those who question my decision, I confidently declare that women can do anything. Plus, let’s not forget, my deposit was non-refundable. I believe everything will be fine. I finish my shows over two weeks before my due date. And if the baby decides to come early, who knows? Maybe they’ll win the award for best newcomer!
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