In 2016, Emily Kate Dobies and Sal Steiner had their first kiss. Prior to this, Ms. Dobies had attempted to set up Mr. Steiner with a mutual friend who was in a troubled relationship. She believed that Mr. Steiner’s warmth and honesty could remind their mutual friend that there were still good dating prospects out there. Little did Ms. Dobies know that Mr. Steiner shared her feelings and wanted to be with her instead.
Their story began in 2012 when they first met at Coffee Bar, a cafe in San Francisco where they both worked. Ms. Dobies had always had a crush on her fellow barista. However, it wasn’t until four years later, on a foggy spring night, that Mr. Steiner expressed his desire to be with Ms. Dobies, turning their friendship into something more.
After a failed matchmaking attempt at a bar in San Francisco, Ms. Dobies expressed her feelings to Mr. Steiner, calling him the most attractive and magical person she had ever met. In response, Mr. Steiner asked if she wanted to make out with him, to which she eagerly said yes.
And so began their journey as a couple. Over the past seven years, they have celebrated holidays and special occasions with each other’s families, adopted a rescue kitten, and even got matching tattoos symbolizing their love for pizza. They enjoy going on road trips and making it a point to visit gay bars in every new destination they explore.
Both Ms. Dobies and Mr. Steiner identify as queer, and they take pride in representing this kind of love wherever they go. Ms. Dobies, who now works at Stitch Fix, was initially attracted to women but instantly felt drawn to Mr. Steiner when they met. Mr. Steiner, an artist and caregiver, is also trans.
In 2019, Ms. Dobies moved in with Mr. Steiner in San Francisco’s Castro district. It was during this time that Mr. Steiner decided to propose. Using a homemade fortune cookie, he asked Ms. Dobies if she wanted to get hitched. His desire to marry her was solidified when he witnessed the love and acceptance displayed at her brother’s wedding, a moment that made him yearn for the same sense of completeness in his own family.
On July 29, with a beach wedding along the Russian River in Northern California, Ms. Dobies and Mr. Steiner exchanged vows in front of around 300 guests. The ceremony was officiated by Ms. Dobies’s brother.
Instead of traditional rings, the couple exchanged crowns adorned with flowers. As Led Zeppelin played and guests cheered, Ms. Dobies was paddled across the river in a unicorn float while Mr. Steiner waited on the shore dressed in a cowboy hat and floral mesh shirt.
During the heartfelt ceremony, Ms. Dobies expressed how Mr. Steiner helps her grow and see the value in challenges, while Mr. Steiner praised her kindheartedness and unwavering support. Instead of calling their event a wedding, they named it the “Big Gay Barbecue” to honor the LGBTQ+ communities that have played a significant role in their lives.
The couple expressed their gratitude to all their guests, acknowledging their importance in their journey together.
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