Ruby Wax, the acclaimed comedian, writer, and mental health advocate, recently opened up about her tumultuous childhood. Describing it as a “lock-in,” Wax expressed how she often longed to join other children playing in the park while she watched from her family home. Comparing her upbringing to the peculiar Addams Family cartoon, the 70-year-old revealed that her parents, who had fled Austria before World War II, brought the war into their own kitchen.
Wax explained that her parents engaged in intense verbal battles, leaving her stuck in the middle. Born in the land of the free and brave, she yearned for a better life, while her parents, whose dreams were cut short, aimed to make things difficult for her. The household was plagued by violence, with Wax often getting caught in the crossfire and sustaining injuries.
As a rebellious teenager, Wax tried desperately to escape her family home. She possessed an unmatched drive to survive and pushed past her parents to pursue her ambitions. Wax reminisced about crawling out of her window at the age of 18 and hitch-hiking to San Francisco. However, every time she returned home, her parents would retaliate with physical abuse. Undeterred, she continued to defy them, harboring a deep sense of resentment.
Wax also recounted a harrowing incident in which her father beat her in front of her friends. Fortunately, her girlfriends formed a protective barrier, shielding her from further harm. This experience instilled in her a sense of gratitude for the support of female camaraderie and ultimately led her to become a comedian.
Eventually, Wax left home and pursued a career in drama, joining the prestigious Royal Shakespeare Company alongside renowned actors Glenda Jackson and Alan Rickman. It was during this time that she discovered her love for writing, thanks to the encouragement of her talented colleagues. Wax met her future husband, producer Ed Bye, while working on the sitcom Girls On Top. Their marriage in 1988 yielded three children: Marina, Madeline, and Max.
Reflecting on her fear of men, Wax attributed it to her father’s intimidating nature. Nevertheless, she found solace in her husband’s gentleness and affection. Overcoming her traumatic childhood required harnessing her anger, which she relied on for survival. However, she eventually had to work hard to rid herself of this addictive anger, recognizing its long-term harm.
Wax’s career as a comedian flourished, and she conducted groundbreaking interviews with notable figures such as Madonna and Carrie Fisher, whom she admired greatly. However, as she reached the age of 50, she felt that her television work began to dwindle due to ageism in the industry.
Despite facing depression throughout her life, Wax managed to complete a Master’s degree at the University of Oxford in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. Drawing from her personal mental health crisis, she penned a successful memoir titled “I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was” and embarked on a one-woman show to openly discuss mental health.
To further aid others, Wax established the Frazzled Cafe, a safe space for individuals to connect and share their stories. She also co-authored numerous mindfulness books. According to Wax, the ultimate reward is knowing that her work has made a real difference in people’s lives. While receiving acclaim for her humor is gratifying, it pales in comparison to the profound impact she has had on those struggling with mental health issues.
Ruby Wax’s interview on Kate Garraway’s Life Stories shed light on her challenging upbringing, her resilience, and her unwavering commitment to helping others. The episode offers a unique insight into the life of a remarkable woman who transformed her pain into purpose.
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