In the year 2020, I had a rather challenging time. I found solace in spending countless hours in my bathtub, indulging in store-bought bread, while binge-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. However, I soon realized that being in direct contact with the clear plastic material of the tub was not ideal for my skin. In an attempt to make a positive change, I decided to purchase workout equipment online and gradually reduce my bathtub time.
While browsing Facebook Marketplace, I came across a pilates reformer, a bed-like contraption with resistance straps for the arms and legs. These reformers are typically quite expensive, but I found one listed for a mere A$500. It was a steal! The seller, a man named Jacob (alias), lived in Adelaide, which was thousands of kilometers away from Melbourne, where I resided, and beyond the travel limitations imposed by the lockdown. Fortunately, he offered to ship it to me. What a legend!
Now, Jacob seemed like the type of person one would caution a friend against dating. His Facebook profile showcased numerous pictures of him partying with his buddies, vacationing in Bali, and enjoying nights at the casino. Surprisingly, he used his real name and personal profile to sell me the pilates reformer. This profile had a decade’s worth of information, giving me a sense of trust despite only seeing the merchandise online. I even had access to his friends’ and parents’ names, his football club, gym, workplace, and details about his personal life, such as his favorite movie, Step Brothers. I felt confident enough to transfer him the A$500, which was a significant amount for me, working in the arts. Little did I know, this decision would prove to be regrettable and potentially jeopardize my financial stability.
The day after transferring the money, I messaged Jacob, politely inquiring about the shipping information. He responded, stating that the delivery had been delayed, but assured me that he would send the details on Monday. Unfortunately, Monday arrived, and there was no sign of any updates.
On Tuesday, I decided to gently remind Jacob about my purchase. I sent another message, expressing my concern and apologized for bothering him. However, I couldn’t help but question society’s tendency to apologize for simple inquiries when women are prompted to do so.
Jacob replied with another excuse, claiming that the delivery had been postponed yet again. Apparently, he would receive the reformer on Thursday along with other equipment he was sending to Melbourne. Days turned into weeks, and Jacob continued to provide one excuse after another. It slowly dawned on me that this was possibly a scam. I knew I should involve the police, and I even threatened to do so.
In a final attempt to retrieve my money, I confronted Jacob, expressing my disappointment and highlighting the fact that he had used his real profile to scam me, making it easy for me to report him. However, I also showed concern for his well-being, questioning how he had reached such a desperate point in life. I emphasized that he had three days to refund my money; otherwise, I would involve the authorities. And if he wanted to open up about his struggles, I had plenty of time due to the lockdown in Melbourne.
Jacob unexpectedly FaceTimed me in response to my message. To my surprise, I encountered a vulnerable and dejected man on the other end of the call. Likewise, he seemed shocked to see “the girl one” from his favorite Australian sketch comedy group, Aunty Donna. Not only had I been scammed, but it turned out that the scammer was an audience member of my comedy work. How ironic.
Jacob pleaded for more time, stating that he needed an additional two weeks before refunding me. He refused to admit outright that he had scammed me, but the unspoken understanding hung between us. He made feeble excuses, claiming that the courier was overwhelmed with work, although he knew I saw through them. All I desired was my refund, and in return, I promised not to involve the police. As a form of collateral, Jacob sent me a picture of his ID but also asked for a video greeting to his friend who admired my comedy. However, I declined to create the requested video.
I must emphasize that my actions were not wise or safe. It was a risky decision that could have ended badly. Nevertheless, it led to a remarkable journey of sorts.
In the two weeks that passed, something unexpected happened. Jacob and I started engaging in lighthearted banter through Facebook Messenger, exchanging updates on our experiences during lockdown (which was not treating me well, given it was week 11 of the second lockdown), and discussing various aspects of our lives. Now that it was evident that he had indeed attempted to scam me using his genuine Facebook profile like an amateur, I grew curious. How did he think he could get away with it when he was so easily traceable?
To my surprise, it wasn’t that Jacob believed he could escape the consequences. He simply didn’t think at all. His actions stemmed from desperation and survival instincts. Gradually, he began revealing his history of gambling, excessive drinking, and drug abuse. However, he never delved into specific incidents, instead making vague statements like his ex-partner leaving after he blew a significant sum of money in a single night. When I inquired about the details of such losses, he evaded the question. I gathered that he was somewhat clueless himself. Perhaps, if he understood the reasons behind his impulsive behavior, he wouldn’t find himself in this predicament. In many ways, Jacob seemed more like a lost child than a mature adult.
Despite the fact that Jacob continued to stall and my refund never materialized, our conversations became more open and honest. He shared his financial woes with friends, family, and coworkers, with numerous outstanding debts weighing him down. He had a knack for talking his way out of failed investments and conveniently “forgetting” to repay others. We…
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