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Dear Amy,
I am a part of an exceptional writers’ group that meets at our local library. However, we are facing an issue with one individual who tends to dominate our meetings. She interrupts and talks excessively, leaving no room for anyone else to contribute or seek feedback on their work. Despite a gentle request to allow everyone to participate, her behavior remains unchanged, and several members, including myself, have stopped attending. I would appreciate your thoughts on how to address this situation.
Writer,
It seems from your narrative that this writers’ group has disintegrated due to the overpowering nature of one member. Unlike book groups where participants engage in freewheeling discussions, writers’ groups serve as valuable platforms for authors to read their work and receive constructive feedback. In a group of six, each member should have an equal opportunity to share and receive feedback. If only one person dominates the discussion, it no longer functions as a writers’ group but more like a TED Talk.
My suggestion is to start your own guerrilla group. Limit the membership to six individuals who agree to adhere to certain guidelines. Meet at someone’s home and take turns conducting the meetings yourselves. By doing so, you can ensure an inclusive and supportive environment for all members.
Dear Amy,
We recently hosted a party, which involves a lot of effort in terms of planning, setting up, buying and preparing food, and more. I would like to remind people of common courtesy when it comes to responding to invitations. Eight individuals did not even RSVP, two canceled the night before, two canceled just minutes before the party started, and six were no-shows. These inconsiderate actions not only result in wasted food but also leave us feeling embarrassed and saddened. It raises questions about people’s selfishness and lack of awareness. How should we handle these individuals when we see them again?
Done Entertaining in Denver
You are absolutely right that responding to an invitation is a matter of common courtesy. Hosts should anticipate some last-minute cancellations, keeping in mind that people are now more cautious about attending crowded gatherings due to concerns about illness transmission. It is courteous not to expose others to potential illnesses.
Modern technology provides hosts with tools to easily manage guest lists. Using platforms like Evite allows you to send reminders, offer directions, and nudge those who haven’t responded. Alternatively, you can personally reach out to those who haven’t responded to get a definite answer.
When it comes to addressing individuals who have ignored your invitation, it is not necessary to bring it up unless you choose to do so. You may choose to exclude them from the guest list for future parties, although I hope there will be more parties to come.
Dear Amy,
In response to “Long-Term Care Happens,” where a grandchild asked for an early inheritance, it is essential to consider the financial implications of long-term care. The writer mentioned their parents spent a significant amount on care, leaving a minimal inheritance for the heirs.
Approximately half of the states have filial responsibility laws. In situations where individuals rely on state-provided care, these states can seek reimbursement from the children. My wife and I, in our seventies, have wisely set aside funds for our long-term care to ensure our children are not burdened with these expenses. If there is anything left, it will become their inheritance.
It is a sad reality that the cost of quality long-term care highlights the deficiencies of our healthcare system.
© 2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
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