In addition to the obvious workplace discrimination faced by LGBTQ+ professionals, there are also subtle yet harmful instances of invalidation known as microaggressions. These put-downs, although labeled as “micro,” can have a significant impact. Mychelle Williams, a therapist who works with gender-diverse and neurodiverse individuals, explains that microaggressions are more damaging than blatant aggression because they are difficult to prove, address, and receive justice for. These experiences can last longer and can be challenging to explain to others.
To gain insight into the common workplace microaggressions faced by LGBTQ+ individuals and how to recover from them, we reached out to queer therapists. One common microaggression is the assumption that one is not LGBTQ+. This assumption can lead colleagues to make comments that invalidate a person’s identity. Therapist Madison McCullough suggests responding to such comments with gentle curiosity and clear boundaries, explaining how you actually identify. The way you respond to microaggressions depends on your level of comfort and safety in your workplace. If you’re open to dialogue, you can invite questions. If not, it’s perfectly acceptable to state your discomfort without sharing more personal information.
Assumptions can also be made about one’s gender identity and sexual orientation, especially in environments where heteronormative behavior is the norm. Colleagues may feel entitled to personal information about you outside of work, causing confusion and potential ostracization if you choose not to share. In order to protect your peace, therapist Jordan White suggests creating a workspace that makes you feel comfortable. For example, you can put up pictures that reflect your identity.
Another microaggression is the pressure to tone down your behavior or appearance. White recalls being told by an employer to be less “gay and swishy.” In response, he debriefed with friends and sought guidance through therapy. Setting boundaries and expressing your feelings can help combat hurtful language. By communicating that certain terms are hurtful, you can foster a more inclusive and respectful work environment.
Invalidations can also surface through a lack of care and attention towards LGBTQ+ events, such as Pride month. Therapist Sara Stanizai highlights how some colleagues dismiss these events, making it difficult for LGBTQ+ individuals to voice their concerns without outing themselves. Allies can play a crucial role in calling out these invalidations instead of placing the burden on LGBTQ+ professionals. It’s important for queer professionals to validate their own feelings and realize that there is no one correct response. Each person’s experience is unique.
For those who are openly out at work, there can be an expectation to be the go-to expert on all things LGBTQ+. This can result in additional pressures, as LGBTQ+ events and projects may be delegated to them without considering power dynamics and personal preferences. Therapist Williams encourages LGBTQ+ professionals to ask for a partner within their department or inquire if participation is optional. By setting boundaries and refusing to be the spokesperson for an entire group, professionals can assert their individuality and challenge tokenization.
When faced with microaggressions, it’s essential to take time to debrief and find avenues for healing. Keeping a log of incidents can be useful for future reference or personal processing. Walking away and taking deep breaths can also provide immediate relief. It’s crucial to ask yourself how you’re feeling and what you need to take care of those emotions. Microaggressions can be destabilizing, so it’s important to prioritize self-care and emotional well-being.
In conclusion, by addressing workplace microaggressions and engaging in self-care, LGBTQ+ professionals can navigate challenging situations, promote inclusivity, and create safer work environments.
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