A man recently turned to Reddit’s AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) subreddit to seek the community’s opinion on whether he was wrong for requesting that his girlfriend embody a more traditional female role during a visit with his family. In his post, the man explained that he comes from a truly close-knit family that often gathers for big dinners at his great-grandfather’s estate. During these dinners, the women are expected to cook while the men socialize. The man acknowledged that this dynamic is sexist, but as one of the youngest members of the family, his protests usually go unnoticed. The man also mentioned that in the past, women who chose not to cook during these family gatherings faced ostracization from the rest of the family.
With an upcoming family dinner approaching, the man initially asked his girlfriend to attend and participate in the tradition of wives cooking while the men socialize. Understandably, the girlfriend was bothered by this request, deeming it unacceptable. The man suggested that she play along to avoid any negative treatment from his family, as this would be her first impression on them. However, the girlfriend refused to budge, leading to arguments between the couple. It is worth noting that the original Reddit poster’s account has restricted access, preventing further conversation.
Dr. Natalie Bernstein, a psychologist from Pennsylvania, expressed concern regarding the situation, stating that she finds it troubling when a partner asks their significant other to pretend and go along with something to keep the peace. This request sends several negative messages about not being good enough, prioritizing the family’s needs over the couple’s, and valuing the family’s views more than the partner’s. Dr. Bernstein warns that this can be damaging to the relationship in the long run.
The Reddit community largely sided with the man’s girlfriend, labeling the original poster as the A–hole in this situation. Comments pointed out that this issue is not truly about women but rather about rank and power dynamics among the men in the family. Some Reddit users suggested alternative solutions, such as hiring a catering company or a private chef to eliminate the need for anyone to cook and allow everyone to enjoy the gathering.
In summary, a man sought advice from Reddit users regarding his request for his girlfriend to take on a traditional female role during a family dinner. The post sparked discussions about sexism, power dynamics, and the importance of respecting boundaries in a relationship.
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