In September 2013, I felt like a brilliant mind as I managed to give birth to two children two years apart, but they fell in adjacent school years. My economic calculations concluded that I had saved two years of childcare expenses, which at the time, exceeded the cost of my mortgage. However, it was not intentional, and I considered myself a genius at the level of the ovary.
Little did I realize the consequences of my actions once my kids hit the meaningful-exam stage. Currently, I’m observing other families since my children haven’t reached that stage yet. GCSE and A-level events are weird and tense for households, irrespective of their composition. The kid’s day has the highest stakes, and their performance determines how their future shapes up.
It’s impossible to prepare for the sibling tradition of one working neurotically hard and the other doing nothing at all. Whose turn it is to feed the cat, use the bathroom, or be a jerk no longer matters. All the regular priorities and hierarchies are completely destroyed. The kids fight constantly, and no one knows why. I remembered having a massive row with my sister on the way to GCSE physics (me) and A-level maths (her). In the end, she hit me in the face with a plastic bag, and I arrived late to get a different bus, which thankfully still allowed me to achieve an A.
Upon pondering and surveying this chaos in numerous families I know, I realized that spacing your kids two years apart creates a problem when GCSEs and A-levels happen simultaneously. Ideally, you’d have foreseen this and had a third child, who could act as an emotional donor sibling, but most people don’t.
From 2024, I’ll have an unbroken run: four solid years of pure summer misery. The correct spacing of children is essential since it’s necessary to forget the previous one’s exams by the time the next set comes around, estimated at 15 years.
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