Welcome to So Mini Ways, Yahoo Life’s parenting series on the joys and challenges of child-rearing.
After the birth of her first daughter, Cleo Wade struggled with postpartum depression. As an author and poet, Wade found solace in an unexpected source. She recalls sitting in the bathtub, feeling lost and wondering how to feel better. That’s when she discovered the Tara Brach podcast. The phrase “remember love” spoken by Brach resonated with Wade and became her anchor during that challenging time.
While Wade couldn’t recall the specific details of the podcast, those two words had a profound impact on her. They helped her shift her perspective and showed her the importance of being kind and gentle with herself. Wade realized that she had been too hard on herself, constantly criticizing and doubting her abilities as a new mother.
This transformative moment inspired Wade to write Remember Love, her latest book. Although not solely focused on the postpartum journey, the book explores Wade’s experiences of feeling lost and finding her own light in the darkness. She shares the practices that helped her along the way.
One mantra that Wade found particularly powerful during her postpartum journey was “Your motherhood is only as powerful as your personhood.” She emphasizes that healing from postpartum depression is a unique and individual process. However, nurturing one’s own well-being and personal growth is essential. This may involve seeking additional support, creating time for oneself, or finding ways to prioritize self-care.
Wade, a mother to two young daughters, emphasizes the importance of embracing harmony rather than striving for balance. She believes that balance is often unattainable in the chaos of adulthood and parenthood. Instead, she encourages flexibility and embracing the unpredictable nature of parenting. Wade reassures parents that shifting plans or adjusting expectations doesn’t equate to failure or inadequacy. It’s all part of the journey.
In Remember Love, Wade focuses on the concept of self-love as a lifeline during difficult times. She challenges the notion that self-love is an all-or-nothing battle. Wade believes that as individuals change and evolve, they must learn to love themselves through each new phase. This involves recognizing and addressing their evolving needs and embracing self-care practices that may differ from what worked in the past.
Wade finds hope and inspiration in her young daughters, who effortlessly demonstrate self-love. She believes that love is innate and often lost as we navigate societal judgments and expectations. However, as a parent, Wade aims to remind her daughters of their inherent self-love, even during challenging teenage years.
While toddlers can be challenging, Wade appreciates this stage of her children’s lives. She delights in witnessing their growth and development, their emerging personalities, and the strengthening of their bond. Being a witness to their journey brings her joy.
Ultimately, raising her daughters has awakened the fragile parts of Wade’s own identity. Motherhood has taught her to embrace both vulnerability and strength, to hold them simultaneously without allowing one to overpower the other. By acknowledging and accepting her own emotions, Wade can seek support and navigate the complexities of parenting.
Wade urges parents to embrace contradictions and contain multitudes within themselves. Categorizing oneself can limit personal growth and hinder the experience of being both human and a parent. By embracing the various emotions, roles, and challenges that come with motherhood, individuals can truly embrace their humanity.
