The Campaner, located at 1 Garrison Square in London SW1W 8BG, is the latest restaurant to open in the city by a well-known Barcelona-based restaurant group. Before you dine at The Campaner, take a moment to look in the window of the estate agents across the square. You’ll find that a two-bedroom apartment in this Qatari-funded development, which was once Chelsea Barracks, will cost you a whopping £6.65 million. For an extra £1.35 million, you can add a third bedroom. It’s hard to believe that these apartments are part of a completed development, as they still look like artist’s renderings. The private road leading to The Campaner is protected by retractable bollards, and the presence of overly cheerful doormen is hard to ignore. The website for the restaurant claims, “This is your realm. Enter your private world of sophistication.” Who doesn’t love the feeling of being privately sophisticated?
Now, divert your attention away from the estate agent’s window and focus on the piece of public art just a few meters away. It’s a large sculpture of a hare on its knees that seems to be waiting to be metaphorically screwed. With this sight in mind, you’re now prepared to face the menu prices at The Campaner. Are you expecting a bargain? Well, think again. Just look at the place.
The restaurant is housed in an impressive red brick building with towering arches, reminiscent of a grand colonnade in Florence. Oversized lampshades hang from the ceiling, and near the entrance, you’ll find a display of giant tins of caviar and a basket of croissants that have likely been there since morning and will probably still be there when you leave. Adding to the annoyance, there is Latin piano jazz playing in the background, which becomes increasingly irritating as the volume rises. As you hand over your jacket, you receive a brass fob with the number “007” engraved on it, almost mocking your presence. A bowl of chips, tasting suspiciously like Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Kettle Chips from a slightly stale bag, is brought to your table. Behind you, a group of finely dressed Chelsea residents sit down awkwardly, unsure of the small plates they’ve ordered.
The whole atmosphere feels tense and uncomfortable. One menu item catches your attention: “Vitello Tonnato Frankie Gallo Cha Cha Cha.” Curious about its meaning, you ask your waiter. She politely explains what vitello tonnato is, but that’s not what you’re interested in. She goes to check and returns with the information that Frankie Gallo Cha Cha Cha is the name of one of the original restaurants in Barcelona. It’s surprising that no one had asked about this before, considering The Campaner has been open for four months. Despite these oddities, the food at The Campaner is, in some cases, exceptionally good. Admittedly, not everything hits the mark, and a couple of dishes leave you frowning and shaking your head. But the dishes that work are truly outstanding.
Playing around with the classic vitello tonnato dish – thinly sliced veal, tuna, and caper mayo – can be risky, but The Campaner succeeds. The dish features tender slices of roast beef, velvety sauce, plump caper berries, and delicate crispy capers. It’s both comforting and exciting. On to the next dish: four adorable scallops nestled in their shells, accompanied by a delightful romesco sauce. These canapés are like the Maybachs of shellfish, with an eye-catching presentation. Priced at £17.50 for four, they may not be cheap, but beauty comes at a price. Inspired by these successes, you decide to order the “spicy sausage rolls.” Unfortunately, they fall short. Small, fatty sausages spiced with cumin hang awkwardly from sticks and are wrapped in a heavy, undercooked batter. Are corn dogs a Barcelona specialty? Perhaps they should be. You can’t bring yourself to finish them.
The menu’s middle section includes some exorbitantly priced main courses: £77 for lobster with hollandaise and caviar, or £70 per person for a lobster and monkfish casserole for two that is served in two parts. First, you enjoy the lobster and monkfish, then the broth is taken away, poached eggs are added, and it’s returned to you. There are also rice dishes for two, such as the Catalan “socarrat” with red prawns, costing £38 per person, or £76. Add the mandatory service charge, and your total comes to £85.50.
Despite the expense, it’s worth saving up to try this dish alone. The socarrat, traditionally defined as the crispy, caramelized layer at the bottom of a paella, is not quite the same here, but it’s still an incredibly satisfying burst of intense seafood flavors. Layered on top are perfectly cooked red prawns. After the first serving, you’re left to serve yourself, finally allowing you to relax and embrace the atmosphere of The Campaner, with its Latin jazz and all. This dish truly is the highlight of the restaurant.
The dessert menu features the expected Basque cheesecake. The lemon meringue pie is a tart with a crispy crust, tangy lemon curd, and torched peaks of meringue – a restaurant-friendly version. It’s mostly successful. On the other hand, the chocolate soufflé falls short. It’s somewhere between a soufflé and a chocolate fondant but fails to excel at either. The wine list is short but overly priced, as expected. Opting for a non-alcoholic mocktail, consisting of lime, syrup, tonic, soda, and angostura bitters, you’re charged £10, and you’re better off not considering the markup on that.
The restaurant’s name, “The Campaner,” means “bell ringer” and reflects the presence of the restored Garrison Chapel across the square. The restaurant aims to become a community hub for a specific affluent community. Those aging croissants belong to a breakfast menu that also features a full English breakfast for £20 or a bowl of porridge for £11. With just one glass of English fizz, your bill amounts to just under £200. Exiting the restaurant, you find yourself in a newly developed but eerily deserted housing estate for the wealthy. Looking up at the sculpture of the kneeling hare, you swear it winked at you.
News Bites:
In other news, Simon Rogan of L’Enclume in Cumbria will be opening a restaurant in Phuket, Thailand. The new Thai version of Aulis will have just 12 seats at a chef’s counter and will be part of the Iniala Beach House luxury resort in Phang-nga. Rogan plans to utilize local produce and collaborate with local farmers. This new venture follows another collaboration between Rogan and Iniala on the island of Malta.
Yum Bug, a company that offers animal proteins made from insects, is launching a pop-up restaurant in London’s Old Street. From October 26th to November 11th, in collaboration with several chefs, Yum Bug will serve dishes like hummus topped with cricket mince by Sam Clark from Moro, and a cricket mince flatbread with pomegranate and onion by Tim Molemo, head of food at Nando’s.
In New York, a lawsuit accusing McDonald’s and Wendy’s of misleading customers with regards to the size of their burgers has been dismissed. The judge ruled that there was insufficient evidence to prove that the companies served smaller portions than what was advertised. The efforts made by these companies to make their food appealing, it was decided, were no different from other companies attempting to create visually appealing advertisements.
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