- During a blizzard, I worried about my kids being home alone. However, they were perfectly fine.
- From a young age, I assigned chores to my children, which has made them more responsible.
- This excerpt is adapted from Jill Winger’s book, “Old-Fashioned on Purpose: Cultivating a Slower, More Joyful Life”.
Leaving for town on a sunny afternoon, I encountered a sudden blizzard with strong winds and heavy snowfall. The interstate was closed, leaving me stranded in my attempt to return home.
My husband, Christian, was at home with the kids, focused on calving — which always seems to happen during a blizzard. As I cautiously navigated the back roads, I called to check on my 11-year-old daughter, who was in the house with her siblings. To my concern, she calmly replied, “Mom, we’re fine. I just put a batch of biscuits in the oven, we added wood to the fire, and I’m keeping an eye on Ingrid, the very pregnant goat. It’s no big deal.”
It was clear that my savvy preteen was unfazed by the chaos happening outside on the prairie.
Ninety minutes later, I arrived home to a warm and cozy house with dinner ready on the table. The kids greeted me at the door with proud smiles. As they presented the biscuits and gravy they had prepared and updated me on the well-being of the goats and calves, their confidence radiated. They walked a little taller, knowing they had stepped up and played a crucial role in our family’s operations that night.
Boosting Kids’ Confidence through Responsibility
“Our culture often underestimates the capabilities of children, considering them fragile and weak. However, the reality is that they are far more capable than most parents realize,” said Katie Kimball, TEDx speaker and creator of the “Kids Cook Real Food” program, during a recent conversation we had. Kimball is a leading advocate for teaching children practical life skills.
“This generation of parents tends to expect too little from their kids because too little was expected from them. Our attempts to make their lives easier unintentionally make their transition into adulthood more challenging, depriving them of the security and confidence that comes from knowing how to handle life skills,” Kimball explained.
Kimball, like many researchers, attributes the rising rates of depression and anxiety in teenagers to our culture’s lack of confidence and self-esteem. “They feel out of control,” Kimball emphasized. “They’re depressed because they lack a sense of rootedness and control over their environment. As human beings, we need boundaries to feel safe, but we also need the ability to determine our own destiny within those boundaries.”
Empowering Kids through Age-Appropriate Tasks
“When parents do everything for their kids, they believe they are keeping them safe, but in reality, they are doing the opposite. By not giving kids opportunities to improve their lives or take care of themselves, parents instill a sense of insecurity,” Kimball noted.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that a combination of free play, boundaries, and age-appropriate responsibilities is a recipe for a strong and harmonious family. It not only helps our household run more smoothly but also leaves my children with a profound understanding of their essential role in our team.
Here are a few strategies we’ve utilized throughout the years, which might work for your family as well:
Start with Small Tasks
If your children are too young to have independent chores, involve them in yours. Toddlers love to help, even if their assistance is somewhat imperfect. They can empty small wastebaskets, sweep the floor, or carry laundry to the washing machine. Although it may take longer and result in a mess occasionally, the investment of time during their early years pays off.
Doing chores in the barn used to be a lengthy process for us. We would bundle up in snowsuits, hats, gloves, and boots, gather blankets, and finally head outside. Along the way, there would be accidental egg breakages, open gates, tumbles, frequent bathroom breaks, and forgotten items. It was utter chaos. However, we survived. And the day your child confidently cooks dinner for the family and cleans up afterward will make you realize that it was all worthwhile.
Progress to More Challenging Tasks
As kids grow older, they can take on more demanding responsibilities. Around the age of four, our children started by feeding the dogs. Then they advanced to collecting eggs. After that, they moved on to feeding the chickens before finally graduating to managing all the chores in the barn.
Today, my three kids take care of the entire barnyard on a daily basis, including feeding hay, breaking ice, tending to the milk cow, and moving animals between pens. They rarely need my assistance, and they take tremendous pride in their ability to keep everything running smoothly. Each family and child is unique, so you can tailor responsibilities based on your children’s abilities. Just remember that they are typically more capable than we give them credit for.
Excerpted from “Follow Google News
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