Unveiling Your Personality through Toast Techniques: Double-Siders or Crust-Avoiders? | Bread Lovers, Find Out What Your Toast Preference Says About You

Name: Toast technique.

Age: Toast was first mentioned in a recipe 600 years ago.

Appearance: A Rorschach test of partially melted butter.

What on earth is toast technique? It is the theory that analyzing the way you spread butter (or butter alternative) on your toast can provide insight into your personality.

Please say this isn’t real? Aren’t we already divided enough? Relax, it’s just a fun survey conducted by Flora for publicity.

OK, phew. So what does it say? The main finding is that 50% of people prefer an even spread, indicating an easygoing and calm personality.

Hang on, that means 50% of people don’t want an even spread. What are they, psychopaths? Another 19% of people like to spread butter across the entire toast, including the crust, showing their methodical nature.

For “methodical”, read “anal”. There are also “crust avoiders” who leave the edges unbuttered and “tear-and-spreaders” who tear their toast apart and butter it individually.

Lazy. And then there are the “double-siders” who …

Don’t you dare. … who like to butter both sides of their toast.

What the hell? Who does this? Show me these monsters! Alright, this didn’t go as planned. Let’s forget I mentioned it.

Double-sided spreading is an affront to nature and a slap in the face of God himself. Take a breath. Your food preferences probably have no impact on your personality.

What about the 2015 report that said people who eat pizza with cutlery are conscientious? That was also just for fun. Don’t read too much into it.

Or the 2017 report that said people who enjoy eating ice-cream from waffle cones are nurturing caregivers? You’re overthinking it.

Or the recent pass notes that said people who use non-dairy milk in their coffee are introverted moralizers? Actually, you know what? That one is true. I can’t stand those people. Let’s go after them!

Do say: “We have more in common than that which divides us.”

Don’t say: “Unless you spread butter on both sides of your toast …”