Layla, 65
Our chaste public personas actually make us more passionate behind closed doors because what we’re doing feels excitingly furtive
When I first met Martin, he was a virgin at 27 years old. We were both Catholics, but I had more sexual experience. Martin believed that premarital sex was sinful and condemned it. Even after we got married, he still felt guilty about certain sexual acts. It wasn’t until his Catholic men’s group approved of oral sex that it became a regular part of our intimate life.
Over time, Martin has gradually let go of his guilt and become more comfortable expressing his desires. Recently, he surprised me with a package filled with provocative outfits. He confessed that he fantasized about seeing me in skin-tight, revealing clothes. That night, I put on a fashion show for him, parading through our hallway in spike heels and jewelry.
Now, I dress up for him once a week, and I enjoy the clandestine feeling it creates. If you saw me at work, you would never guess that I own a lacy black one-piece slashed at the midriff. Our innocent public personas actually fuel the passion we have behind closed doors because it feels thrillingly secretive.
The slow reveal of Martin’s desires has made our sexual relationship feel like an ongoing discovery. It’s enticing to realize that there are still aspects of him that remain unpredictable to me. I appreciate not knowing every thought that crosses his mind, and he also doesn’t know everything about me.
During sex, I sometimes let my mind wander. I imagine our neighbors listening in, secretly jealous of the sounds we’re making. Of course, in reality, we’re not loud, and our neighbors aren’t eavesdropping. I don’t share this fantasy with Martin because it would be difficult to explain, and I enjoy having a brief moment in an alternate reality. Keeping secrets can actually be beneficial for a marriage.
Martin, 64
She likes me in jeans but is particularly fond of seeing me in a white T-shirt. I’ll slip one on if sex is on the agenda for the evening
It’s hard for me to believe now, but at 27, I saw intercourse as the ultimate sin. Even though Layla and I had sex before marriage, I still carried guilt and believed I was fighting against evil within myself. Of course, I never succeeded.
Over the years, I have let go of my Catholic faith and the shame I used to feel about my own desires. I now buy revealing clothes for Layla, such as miniskirts and tight leggings, that I used to feel guilty about liking. I enjoy visualizing her in these outfits and eagerly await their arrival. I also dress up for her, often wearing a white T-shirt as it’s a particular favorite of hers when sex is on the agenda.
There have been instances where Layla surprised me with a seductive outfit, but there were times when I was too tired or anxious for sex, leaving her feeling embarrassed and unwanted. To avoid the pain of rejection, we decided to eliminate spontaneous propositions. Instead, we discuss the possibility of intimacy in the morning and check in with each other throughout the day to ensure we’re both still interested. We have learned to avoid the possibility of rejection, as it can be very damaging to our relationship.
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