The TV show “Platonic” revolves around the reconnection of old friends Sylvia and Will after a long period of being distant. Sylvia, a stay-at-home mom, and Will, recently divorced and childless, had drifted apart due to conflicts between Sylvia and Will’s ex-wife. However, Sylvia reaches out to Will when she discovers that he is no longer with his ex-wife.
Their reconnection is not casual; they begin spending a lot of time together, indulging in late-night outings, excessive drinking, and causing chaos. While Will is trying to rebuild his personal life and advance his career, Sylvia regrets giving up her career to focus on raising her children. The show accurately portrays the dynamics of family life, capturing the chaos of getting kids ready in the morning. However, it stretches believability when it portrays Sylvia and Will, both in their forties, waking up fresh after their wild nights.
Despite the lack of evident sexual tension between Sylvia and Will, suspicions arise in the eighth episode when Sylvia’s husband becomes suspicious. Additionally, a business associate of Will makes advances towards Sylvia, assuming that she must be open to it because she is on a trip with a man who is not her husband. The central question of the show is not whether men and women can be friends without complications, but rather why it is challenging for married individuals, especially those of opposite sexes, to maintain friendships.
Watching the show made me realize that my close male friendships from my twenties have faded over time. While I still keep in touch with them through texting and direct messaging, I rarely see them in person. Gone are the days of spending hours playing games or watching movies together. I have had close relationships with male colleagues over the years, but we don’t socialize outside of work hours. My husband has similar relationships with his female friends.
There are practical reasons why married heterosexual individuals, especially those with children, struggle to maintain friendships with members of the opposite sex. Limited time for socializing due to parental responsibilities plays a significant role. Personally, seeing my best girlfriends for dinner more than once a month is a rare occurrence. Furthermore, sex-segregation often occurs when raising children, as discussed in a previous article I wrote about moms shouldering most household scheduling responsibilities. Dads may feel uneasy sharing contact information with women, even for innocent purposes like coordinating a child’s birthday party.
The perception that something inappropriate may be occurring between opposite-sex friends is rooted in historical norms and psychological reality. In traditional societies, friendship between men and women was unheard of, as they occupied different spheres and women were considered inferior. Platonic friendships between sexes gained prevalence in the 1960s and 70s as men and women interacted on more equal terms in various settings.
Psychologically, it is common for opposite-sex friends to experience some level of sexual attraction towards each other. Single people often transition from friendship to romantic relationships. Studies have shown that heterosexual men and women prioritize different qualities in their opposite-sex friends, potentially treating them as backup mating options based on evolutionary factors.
While having opposite-sex friends does not imply infidelity or an automatic attraction, there is still some residual attraction that could potentially threaten a romantic bond in a marriage. Perhaps as society evolves and becomes more accepting of non-traditional gender roles and relationships, friendships between heterosexual men and women will become more commonplace. However, for now, the uniqueness of opposite-sex best friendships in middle age provides an intriguing premise for shows like “Platonic.”
If you want more insightful content, The Atlantic published an article about the increasing trend of ending friendships over perceived slights. The author advises individuals to accept that not every friend can meet all their needs and suggests making new friends instead of abandoning old ones. Another fascinating story is about two 81-year-old friends who travel the world together, showcasing the beauty of lifelong friendships. Lastly, an opinion piece discusses the lessons society can learn from gay-straight friendships, emphasizing the importance of diverse relationships.
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