So Far in 2023: The Most Controversial Contestants on a Netflix Dating Show

Vanessa Papa’s interactions with the cast of “The Ultimatum: Queer Love” were marked by tension and conflict.

Vanessa Papa in "The Ultimatum: Queer Love."


Vanessa Papa in “The Ultimatum: Queer Love.”

Netflix

Papa participated on the show with her former partner, Xander Boger, who initially presented her with an ultimatum to either get married or break up.

Early on in the show, Papa found herself in conflicts with several cast members, and even the executive producer acknowledged her struggles.

“Some felt that Vanessa wasn’t genuinely engaging in the process or that she was more interested in fame. Others believed that Vanessa wasn’t fully committing to the process, especially when Xander started developing feelings for someone else,” said Chris Coelen, CEO of Kinetic Content, in an interview with Variety.

Coelen added that Papa’s unwavering confidence that Xander wouldn’t leave her or form a connection with another person on the show created “resentment.”

“Vanessa described Xander as asexual and believed that he would never develop feelings for anyone else, so she saw no risk in being on TV and didn’t think her relationship was at stake,” he explained. “This caused a significant amount of resentment.”

Boger told Insider that Papa’s comment about her being asexual was “degrading.”

In an interview with Today, Papa addressed her portrayal as the villain and why she stopped defending herself against criticism from her castmates.

“You can’t defend yourself to someone who doesn’t even know you or isn’t willing to listen,” she stated. “At some point, I had to stop trying to defend myself because no matter what I said, it only fueled more negativity.”

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