Psychologist reveals seven things that can kill a relationship

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Psychologist reveals seven surprising things that can kill a relationship – from not being upfront about your needs to AVOIDING arguments

  • Chartered Psychologist Dr. Lalitaa Suglani is based in Birmingham 
  • She creates content about mental health topics for her following on Instagram 
  • In a recent post, she discussed seven things that can kill your relationship
  • Among them are not apologising, and not having a life outside the pairing 

A psychologist has revealed seven things that can kill a relationship, from refusing to take accountability, to ignoring your partner’s trauma.

Dr Lalitaa Suglani, a chartered psychologist based in Birmingham, shared the information in a post on Instagram, where she has some 100,000 followers. 

In her post, she explained that relationships take ‘effort from both sides and that looks different for each person’.

Dr Lalitaa added that relationships are a ‘work in progress’ and ‘great relationships’ are great because ‘both people care enough about the other person to make it work’.

A psychologist has revealed seven things people do that can ruin their relationships, from not making an effort to understand your partner’s perspective and not having a life away from the relationship (stock image)

‘Just like the relationship with self the relationship we hold with others is always work in progress,’ she wrote.

‘No relationship is perfect. It takes effort from both sides and that looks different for each person based on past experiences and your love language. Relationships are work in progress. 

Dr Lalitaa Suglani reveals 7 things that can kill relationships

1. Being indirect about your wants and needs.

2. Forcing the other person to change the way you want them to be.

3. Not making an effort to understand your partner’s perspective.

4. Disengaging during disagreement instead of having ‘difficult’ conversations and/or using disrespectful language.

5. Not apologising or taking accountability.

6. Not having a life away from the relationship, such as hobbies, meeting with friends.

7. Ignoring your partner’s trauma, triggers, or past experiences. 

‘In your relationship as you go through experiences your relationship will go through transitions and will evolve – after-all it takes two to tango.’

Among the seven things Dr Lalitaa listed as relationship killers were being indirect about your wants and needs.

Changing your partner, to make them how you want them to do was second on her list.

She also cited a failure to make the effort to understand your partner’s perspective as a factor that can kill a relationship.

Not apologising or taking accountability for things you do wrong was also among the things she listed.

According to the psychologist, it’s important to maintain your own life away from the relationship if you want it to thrive.

Not having hobbies or your own friends was cited as one of the seven things that can kill your pairing.

Finally, she wrote, that ignoring your partner’s trauma can have a negative impact on your relationship, alongside overlooking their triggers and past experience.

In the post, Dr Lalitaa noted that she ‘needs to make sure that you are aware that this is a very broad post and each relationship is very different, so please use this as a guide and please seek professional support if needed’. 

She asked people to leave comments sharing which of the seven points stood out to them.

One Instagram user wrote: ‘I can relate to lot of these things have had lots of back and forth in my marriage. It’s on its last lives.’

Another added: ‘Using disrespectful language – it interferes with true engagement.’

A third said: ‘Ignoring each others needs!!!!!!!!’

A number of Instagram users took to the post to share their thoughts on the seven points that Dr Lalitaa shared

A number of Instagram users took to the post to share their thoughts on the seven points that Dr Lalitaa shared

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