A father who was raised in the Mormon church and taught that being gay was ‘worse than death itself’ has opened up about coming out to his wife after years of struggling with his sexuality.
Steve Stoddard, 40, and his ex, Jessica Frew, 38, from Boise, Idaho, shared their story in a heartwarming interview that aired on Good Morning America Tuesday in honor of Price Month.
The former couple, who share a daughter, Penny, were about two years into their marriage when he told her that he was gay.
‘I didn’t want to be gay and it took me a long time to admit to myself and to her that, yes, I’m gay,’ he explained of the moment he started embracing his sexuality.
Steve Stoddard, 40, from Boise, Idaho, opened up about coming out as gay to his ex-wife, Jessica Frew, 38, during an interview with Good Morning America that aired on Tuesday
Stoddard and Frew both grew up as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which opposes same-sex relationships and marriages
The former couple share a daughter, Penny, and he recalled thinking she ‘would be would be better off with no dad than with a gay dad’
Stoddard and Jessica Frew both grew up as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which opposes same-sex relationships and marriages.
‘There was a time where I was convinced that Penny would be better off with no dad than with a gay dad,’ he recalled.
‘And I really went through a dark phase for a couple of years there where I was suicidal and really struggled with just seeing the value in me being able to live a natural life that I had been taught was so wrong and that was worse than death itself.’
Frew realized early on that Stoddard’s sexuality had nothing to do with her, and she focused on supporting him rather than being angry about his coming out.
Frew (pictured with her husband, Matt Frew) realized early on that Stoddard’s sexuality had nothing to do with her, and she focused on supporting him rather than being angry
Stoddard said there was a time he was suicidal because he had been taught that being gay ‘worse than death itself’
Stoddard and Frew eventually divorced, but they never stopped being friends
Matt admitted that having his wife’s ex around all of the time was an adjustment at first, but he wouldn’t have it any other way
‘It felt like Steve exploring and figuring out who he was,’ she told GMA. ‘And I made a very clear point in my head to not let it become a thing of betrayal. I knew it wasn’t about me.’
Stoddard and Frew eventually divorced, but they never stopped being friends.
‘I’ve always had an innate gift to just kind of love myself and embrace who I was created to be,’ she said.
‘And I feel like when you do that, you’re able to help other people do that along the way, too, and recognize that the things they’re going through have nothing to do with you personally.’
‘Now, it’s like, “Where’s Steve? When’s Steve coming?”‘ Matt explained
Frew and her husband now spend holidays with Stoddard and his boyfriend
The Frews are also still active members of the Mormon church, and she is raising Penny in the same faith
‘It just seems normal,’ Penny told GMA of her blended family
Frew, who has since remarried, spends holidays with Stoddard and his boyfriend as they continue to co-parent their daughter.
Her husband, Matt Frew, admitted that having his wife’s ex around all of the time was an adjustment at first, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
‘Now, it’s like, “Where’s Steve? When’s Steve coming?”‘ he explained.
Frew and her husband are still active members of the Mormon church, and she is raising Penny in the same faith. She believes it’s a part of their service to others to show how their blended family works.
And while Stoddard’s greatest concern about coming out was his daughter Penny, his fears were unfounded.
‘It just seems normal,’ she told GMA.
