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When I initially came across the title of the book “How to Stay Married,” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, thinking it was just another how-to guide. I assumed it was something I and my exes would have no interest in. However, to my surprise, this memoir by Harrison Scott Key is filled with sharp humor that captivated me. Despite my reservations, I found myself drawn into this stranger’s marriage journey that unfolded across 300 pages.
Harrison Scott Key is no stranger to writing, having won the Thurber Prize for American Humor in 2016 with his debut book, “The World’s Largest Man.” In his third book, he delves into the aftermath of an affair his wife Lauren had with their rather dull neighbor, Chad. While the title suggests that the marriage survives, Key focuses on the emotional rollercoaster he and his wife experienced as they navigated through the situation and uncovered “the truth.”
There are stark differences between Key and myself – he is a man residing in Savannah, Ga., raised in a religious family, and has undergone his own religious journey over the years. At times, Key’s memoir feels like a never-ending monologue from that person you meet at a party who can’t stop talking about themselves. His writing style is far from minimalistic, but maybe that’s what makes it so appealing. When a writer adopts a spare style, the reader can anticipate the story’s path. However, with “How to Stay Married,” there is a constant element of surprise, and as you delve deeper into the book, the curiosity intensifies – what comes next? What’s the next joke? Key’s memoir is energized, something I have rarely encountered in this genre.
Memoirs should be revealing, and Key doesn’t shy away from exposing every facet of himself as he learns and grows. To protect his loved ones, he changes names and details, giving readers an honest look into his thoughts and emotions. Through his introspection on his response to his wife’s affair, Key realizes that while Chad played a role in damaging his marriage, the ultimate responsibility lies with both him and Lauren. The marriage deteriorated due to their neglect, and now, with divine and mortal assistance, they must work together to resurrect it.
The memoir surprises readers with unexpected chapters, such as “The Truth Will Set You Free To Lose Your Mind,” which consists of Key compiling a list of “facts” he uncovers during his initial conversation with his wife about the affair. One of these facts is that Chad secretly entered their home to help Lauren with household chores. Another striking chapter is Key’s decision to read the Bible from beginning to end in a moment of despair. As he progresses through the Old Testament, he observes grand metaphysical comedy, where the seemingly righteous engage in immoral acts but are still loved by God. Additionally, the chapter dedicated to the family dog, Gary, provides moments that challenge the reader’s belief, as Key narrates instances of destruction and his honest conversations with his daughters about their parents’ relationship.
Perhaps the most unexpected aspect of the memoir is a chapter written by Lauren herself. It is rare to hear both sides in a memoir about infidelity, and Lauren’s perspective is both surprising and thought-provoking. Her own experience of her parents’ divorce and her mother’s death before marrying Key heavily influences her relationship. Loneliness and buried pain drive her to seek affection outside their marriage. Her affair becomes an outlet for pent-up emotions, both relieving and detrimental. Lauren’s candidness contrasts with Key’s humorous approach, showcasing their different journeys towards reconciliation. Key hopes readers won’t dismiss the idea of marriage after reading this book, instead acknowledging that relationships require hard work and maintaining a sense of humor.
In this captivating memoir, Harrison Scott Key presents an extraordinary tale of love, betrayal, and redemption. His unique blend of humor and introspection provides an engaging reading experience, leaving readers with a newfound appreciation for the complexities of marriage. “How to Stay Married” is a testament to the endurance of love and the importance of self-reflection in maintaining a successful partnership.
Jane Smiley, the esteemed author of numerous fiction and nonfiction works, including the recent release “The Questions that Matter Most,” reviews “How to Stay Married” as an incredible love story that defies all expectations.
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