How to Deal with Overbearing In-laws: Carolyn Hax’s Advice on Handling Criticism About a Messy House


Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:
My husband and I have demanding jobs and two elementary-school-age kids. We are all busy, active people who exercise and socialize regularly and keep up with hobbies. We do not have any local family. Although we are on top of most aspects of our lives, our house is messy and cluttered, though a house cleaner comes every two weeks. I feel it’s impossible to be good at all the things at this stage of our lives and have consciously chosen to prioritize other things. My husband and I have discussed a plan to get things in order.

My in-laws were just visiting. After they returned home, they read us the riot act over FaceTime about what bad shape our house is in. I feel it would have been

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