- Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian engage in a heated phone call on “The Kardashians” where they fight.
- In the call, Kim reveals the existence of a group chat called “Not Kourtney” where they discuss Kourtney’s behavior.
- A therapist, Amelia Kelley, finds Kim bringing up the chat to be “disturbing.”
On the season four premiere of “The Kardashians,” which aired Thursday, Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian Barker peel back the glitzy, business-focused veneer that’s defined the family’s Hulu series, speaking with the intent to maim.
During a phone call shown within the first ten minutes of the premiere, Kim tells Kourtney that not only do Kourtney’s friends complain to Kim about Kourtney’s behavior, but she has a group chat called “Not Kourtney” to discuss it.
“That was pretty disturbing to me,” Amelia Kelley, a therapist who specializes in gaslighting and trauma, tells Insider. She added that the situation reminded her of how high-school students engage in mean-spirited gossip.
The heated season four conversation comes on the heels of the sisters’ years-long, on-and-off feud, which dominated season three of “The Kardashians.” That season’s drama centered on tension over Kim curating a Dolce & Gabbana show less than a year after Kourtney’s wedding, which Dolce & Gabbana designed. While they reached a resolution in season three, the feud worsened once they watched the show’s edit and learned what each other had said, Kim says in Thursday’s premiere.
During the phone call, things explode. While the conversation begins with the sisters discussing their reactions to the season three edit and Kourtney’s wedding, it morphs into Kourtney calling Kim a narcissist, Kim expressing concern over whether or not her sister is happy, and eventually, Kim saying that everyone from Kourtney’s friends to Kourtney’s children complain about her behavior.
“I have a happy life, and the happiness comes when I get the fuck away from you guys,” Kourtney tells Kim over the phone. “Like, it’s specifically you.”
As reality television stars, business partners, and sisters, Kim and Kourtney’s relationship will always be tense in some way, Kelley says.
But normal people can learn a lot from the behaviors the Kardashian sisters exhibit here — including what to avoid and how to actually find a resolution when both sides are hurt — if they find themselves in a similar situation, according to Kelley.
Weaponizing a group chat is never a good idea — and it could be narcissistic
Kelley, who watches “The Kardashians,” says she was shocked upon learning about Kim’s “Not Kourtney” group chat.
“If I found out that my family was doing that, I don’t know if I would feel comfortable being around my family,” Kelley tells Insider. She says that it would make sense for someone in Kourtney’s situation to feel unsafe around those group-chat members and react with hurt and defensiveness, as she did when Kim brought it up.
“In my opinion, nothing positive can come from having a secret chat about a family member, unless you intend not to have a relationship with that family member,” Kelley says.
According to Kim, Kourtney isn’t being singled out — she says that she and her family members have “side chats about everybody” and that she “expressed concern” about Kourtney.
Since Kim doesn’t reveal the specific origins of the group chat, it’s difficult to determine whether it came from a place of narcissism, according to Kelley.
She says that if Kim created the chat with the intention of gathering support against Kourtney, that could be narcissistic as it originates from a place of self-importance. However, if Kim created the chat in a moment of hurt or stress to seek advice from friends on how to handle a specific situation with K
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