My Experience of Becoming a Solitary Empty Nester After My Sons’ Departure for College

• After sending my sons off to college, I experienced a mix of happiness for them and sadness for myself as a parent.
• As a way to cope, I decided to redirect my energy towards self-care and personal growth.
• I engaged in fulfilling activities, ultimately finding contentment and balance in my life.

When my oldest son left for college in 2016, I couldn’t bear to see his empty bed. The house felt quieter, even though my other son was still at home with me. It marked the end of an era, and I had to learn how to navigate this transition. Two years later, my second son left for college as well, and I found myself lost as an empty nester.

I had to find ways to fill the void left by my sons’ absence and learn to prioritize myself again.

The Void Left by Sending my Sons to College

My whole life changed once my sons went off to college. My days were no longer filled with work, school projects, track meets, family meals, and driving them to social events. I felt a vast emptiness and nostalgia for the time when we were more involved in each other’s lives.

Even simple errands like grocery shopping reminded me of their absence, as I no longer had to buy their favorite items in large quantities.

Throughout my journey as a single mother, people always advised me to prioritize self-care, but I never had the time or resources to do so. My focus was always on my sons.

Embracing Change and Focusing on Myself

I allowed myself to feel sad for a while, but then I realized I had to pick myself up. I transformed my loneliness and sadness into gratitude for the opportunities my children had. I reminded myself that they were safe, making friends, and experiencing new things.

Redirecting Energy Towards Personal Growth

Stepping out of my comfort zone was challenging, but I knew it was necessary. I took my time to make decisions and gave myself two years to explore different activities. I rediscovered my interests before becoming a parent: physical activities, nature, reading, writing, and meaningful conversations.

I established routines such as morning or evening walks, joined exercise classes, and engaged in hobbies like listening to music and audiobooks. Taking care of my health became a priority, and I started cooking nutritious meals and practicing yoga. I also made an effort to connect with people and be open to new experiences.

Work in Progress: Overcoming Loneliness and Sadness

Lonely weekends were particularly difficult, so I reconnected with old friends and considered volunteering or taking classes. Gradually, I found contentment and balance by focusing on activities I enjoyed and taking care of myself.

Although I still experience moments of sadness and loneliness, I remind myself that my kids are observing how I adapt and care for myself during times of change. I continue to be a role model for them as a parent and as an individual. They may seem oblivious, but they are watching. I want to show them that change is a natural part of life and that embracing new chapters can lead to personal growth. I hope they learn from my example when their time comes.