Comment on this story:
Dear Amy,
I have had a long and successful career as a speech-language pathologist, specializing in early-childhood development. I made sure to provide my own children with play-based preschool opportunities, which I believe greatly contributed to their success as adults. However, my son and daughter-in-law have made it clear that they do not want any input or support from me, even when they face challenges. I have respected their wishes and only provided generic positive statements in response to their updates.
Recently, my daughter-in-law sent me photos and videos of our 3-year-old granddaughter participating in a pee-wee “cheer” program. This program requires the girls to wear revealing uniforms and heavy makeup. It is concerning to me that they have not enrolled her in a regular preschool and seem to be comfortable with this sexualized environment. I have not responded to these photos and I’m unsure of how to approach my son and daughter-in-law about my concerns.
I am deeply saddened that my granddaughter is not receiving a typical child-focused, play-based learning experience and is instead being exposed to something that could potentially harm her future. I feel a responsibility to speak up and protect her childhood. How should I address this issue with my son and daughter-in-law?
Horrified
Dear Horrified,
You have a few options to advocate for your granddaughter. You can choose to express your concerns through speaking, writing, or even texting. However, it’s important to prepare yourself for the possibility that your son and daughter-in-law may react negatively and continue making their own choices regarding their child.
While I share your opinion and concerns about the sexualization of young girls, it’s essential to acknowledge that parents have the right to make their own decisions – even if we disagree with them. It seems that your son and daughter-in-law have different values than you, and they are expressing those values through their parenting choices.
To protect your granddaughter’s childhood, it’s crucial to maintain a healthy and accepting relationship with her. The best way to do this is through her parents. Therefore, try to be judicious in your reactions and make an effort to attend one of the cheer program competitions, even if it is not something you personally enjoy. Let them know that you support the children and want to be present for their activities.
Best regards,
Amy
Dear Amy,
I recently moved to a new home in a small town, where my neighbors’ houses are close to mine. A friend of mine suggested that I bake brownies and take them to my neighbors as a way to introduce myself. While this seems friendly, I feel shy about the idea. What do you think?
New in Town
Dear New in Town,
While it is a kind and friendly gesture to bake brownies for your neighbors, it might be even more hospitable for your neighbors to welcome you with baked goods. Instead, it is wise to start by waving and introducing yourself when you encounter your neighbors outside. You can engage in conversation by asking about local services or other questions related to the community. Additionally, try to join local organizations or committees to meet other residents and make new friends among your neighbors.
Best regards,
Amy
Dear Amy,
I found it amusing when I read the question from “Confused Friends” about being invited to a graduation party that turned out to also celebrate a sibling’s job promotion and move. The line that stood out to me was, “Adults who get job promotions already have their party gift: the promotion.”
Reader
Dear Reader,
It’s true, the hosts did not explicitly ask for a gift. I simply expressed my opinion that a gift was not necessary in that situation.
Best regards,
Amy
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