In the 90s, cinemas were flooded with movies based on Saturday Night Live sketches, which drew criticism as unoriginal and formulaic. These films, like Wayne’s World in 1992, followed SNL’s pattern of recurring characters and memorable catchphrases. Each project aimed to stretch a recognizable sketch into a feature-length film, often relying on special guest stars, parody songs, or action sequences to enhance the premise. However, none of these follow-ups achieved the same success as Wayne’s World, with films like It’s Pat and Stuart Saves His Family turning into major box office bombs.
Yet, there were some failed projects that never even made it to the big screen due to their excessively bizarre nature. Recently, Conan O’Brien, an SNL writer from 1988 to 1991, dedicated a few episodes of his podcast to revive one such project called Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma. O’Brien, together with former SNL cast members Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey, reminisced about the script they had co-written, which they viewed as an absurd example of this micro-genre. The movie relied on the participation of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who would have played himself in the film. However, when Schwarzenegger declined the script, the project fell apart. Now, decades later, O’Brien and the film’s intended stars took the opportunity to read aloud from the abandoned draft in four podcast episodes.
This experiment filled me with an unexpected sense of nostalgia for the type of silly comedy that seems to be missing nowadays. O’Brien and Robert Smigel wrote the script in 1991, with Smigel best known for his character Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. They envisioned a feature-length story centered around Carvey and Nealon’s characters, Hans and Franz, two enthusiastic Austrian bodybuilders who boasted about their muscles, claimed to be able to motivate viewers, and criticized others for being weak or effeminate. Similar to most SNL sketches, “Pumping Up With Hans & Franz” had a consistent setting—a talk show where the pair doled out nonsensical advice. This limited the opportunities for a more comprehensive narrative.
This is where Schwarzenegger’s involvement became crucial for Hans and Franz. According to O’Brien and Smigel, Schwarzenegger expressed initial interest, had meetings with the writers, and read the script. However, after his comedy films, like Last Action Hero and Junior, failed to impress at the box office, Schwarzenegger shifted his focus back to serious roles. O’Brien chuckled as he reflected on the fact that the success of the entire project relied heavily on Schwarzenegger’s involvement. Revisiting the script and delving into the absurdity that could have been, O’Brien and his guests captured the delightful camaraderie that defines the best comedy podcasts. These four veterans of the industry laughed at the audacious foolishness of the story they had once been so committed to. This self-aware tone is precisely what made these films hilarious to begin with.
In the script, Hans and Franz lose their jobs as TV hosts after insulting Martin Luther King Jr., which prompts their journey to Hollywood to meet Schwarzenegger and help him defeat an Austrian rival. The main plot is already wacky, but the script also includes even more outlandish side stories that were left intact during the reading. O’Brien and Smigel both acknowledge that these additional elements would likely have been eliminated during the development process.
For example, at one point, Hans and Franz embark on a cross-country trip on a tandem bike that attracts numerous travelers, eventually resulting in the massive contraption breaking apart as each hitchhiker heads off on their separate adventures. In another scene, the renowned critic Roger Ebert watches a screening of their film, and the duo interrupts to ask for his opinion. The inclusion of cameos and endorsements from famous film critics may have been too much to hope for, as O’Brien jokingly points out.
Ebert has been relatively supportive of SNL films like Wayne’s World, but he criticized Coneheads, stating that it stretched out nine minutes of material to an excessive running time without adding anything valuable. The best gags of Hans and Franz reminded me of the jokes from The Simpsons, where O’Brien worked at the time he co-wrote the script. These gags took simple concepts and exaggerated them to the point where reality begins to break.
As entertaining as the script read is, listeners can also imagine how various storylines might have been diluted due to star demands and studio interference. There might be an original, equally zany draft of Coneheads out there, and envisioning the untapped potential of other projects adds to the enjoyment of listening. Furthermore, it emphasizes that a film as foolish as Hans and Franz would be a refreshing oasis in the current comedy landscape.
Nowadays, most studio comedies end up on the small screen rather than in theaters. Even SNL-related films, such as the latest project written by the Please Don’t Destroy sketch team, were planned for theatrical release but were ultimately moved to Peacock. The most recent SNL movie to reach theaters was MacGruber, an underappreciated and wild adventure that garnered little attention initially but later gained a cult following. In 2010, critics often complained about stretching thin premises to fill a 90-minute runtime, but today, such comedic efforts seem herculean and incredibly appealing.
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